The Best Time To Call Out Of Work
At some point we've all silenced our blaring 7 am alarms with a swift smack, rolled back into bed and stared blankly at the ceiling as we contemplate whether we want to sleep in or stay employed.
About nine time out of ten, employment wins this early morning debate.
However, there are some days you just can't bear to leave the cozy comfort of your bed and decide there's no way in hell you're going to work.
After all, that's what sick days are for, right?
Whether you're actually sick AF, dying from a next level hangover, in dire need of a mental health day or simply playing hooky, we all deserve a day off every now and then.
But you're not out of the woods once you make the decision to take a sick day.
Then you have to carry out the dreaded deed of calling your boss to deliver the bad news.
While this may seem relatively simple, there's a lot to consider when making this nerve-wracking phone call.
If you're someone who spends the entire morning agonizing over the most strategic time to call out of work, I have some good news for you.
Science just figured out the exact time you should call in 'sick' to work.
That's right. The market research company Attest recently conducted a study that included 1,000 employees and found that the best time to call in 'sick' is Tuesday morning at 6:38 am sharp.
Now I know what you're thinking, and yes, getting your ass up at the crack of dawn to call out of work doesn't seem to mesh with your sick day plans of getting some extra shut eye.
But hey, spending a few minutes on the phone at 6:38 AM sounds a whole lot better than spending the whole damn day at your desk, am I right?
In addition to executing your phone call at the optimal Tuesday morning time, you'll also need to give your boss the perfect sick day excuse.
According to the results of the study, your best bet is to tell your boss you're having 'stomach problems.'
Your employer will be more likely to buy this excuse on a Tuesday, since everyone knows the people who call out with 'food poisoning' on Mondays and Fridays are probably just fakers who want to extend their weekend.
The study also revealed most people call out in November and December, so you might want to avoid these months to make your sick day excuse more believable.
It's important to make sure the phone call sounds legit.
Calling in sick is a delicate art where you must strike a balance between showing subtle signs of your illness and making an idiot out of yourself by acting out a bad patient scene from "Grey's Anatomy."
Feel free to fake some congestion or even throw in a couple convincing coughs, but don't go overboard and make pretend vomiting noises into the phone.
Finally, when calling in sick, it's a good idea to lay low on social media and steer clear of posting any incriminating evidence that will prove you're actually playing hooky.
Now set your alarms for Tuesday morning, call into work with your best sick voice and go embrace your inner Ferris Buller for a day.