Assume there are bodies buried every-freaking-where because, apparently, that is the only universal truth.
Residents of the Irish town Collooney recently weathered a harsh storm that tore up a 200-year-old beech tree.
Waiting patiently, tangled in the roots of the tree, was the top half of a human skeleton.
The leg bones were discovered buried in a grave beneath the reach of the roots.
IFLScience reports the bones date back 1,000 years and were once the framework of a 17 to 25-year-old man. Details of the man's death are unclear, but bone-deep wounds suggest a murder by knife or sword.
The burial, according to radiocarbon analysis, occurred between 1030 and 1200 AD.
In an interview with Irish Archaeology, archaeologist Marion Dowd claimed historical records place a church nearby and perhaps a cemetery.
The skeleton is so, so, so psyched to be back in time for fall festivities and can't wait to carve a few pumpkins come October.