Rap and R&B songs portray confidence. I don't know if it's the beat, tempo or lyrics, but there's something about the music that makes you feel like a badass. My first hip-hop crush was Usher. I was 12, and I've been hooked ever since.
While we often trash this type of music for being sexist and violent, the good songs just don't get enough credit. Let's take a minute to ignore the "f*ck bitches, get money" type of rap, and let's acknowledge the songs that tell a man just how to treat a significant other:
1. "Comfortable" – K Camp
Baby, just be comfortable. I'll be right here next to you.
It all comes down to security. We want to know you'll be there, rain or shine and fierce or no filter. Make us feel comfortable enough to know that we can go out and chase our dreams. Show us you're going to be there to support us through it.
2. "Back To Sleep" – Chris Brown
I know you're almost half asleep, but you know how much I need you.
It's not all about doing the dirty all the time. We know. But guys, make sure we know you want us.
We want to feel wanted, sexy and important. Sometimes, waking us up in the middle of the night just to give us some love is the sexiest thing you can do.
3. "Slow Motion" – Trey Songz
We can take, we can take, we can take our time. Stay here in slow motion.
Patience is key here. Take your time with us. Sometimes, we need things to go a little slower, whether that's getting to know us, helping us slow down after a crazy day or slowing down sexy time.
Women are inherently not very good at taking time for themselves. So, help us slow down, and have some patience with us.
4. "Miss Independent" – Ne-Yo
She got her own thing. That's why I love her.
Let her do her own thing. Encourage her to do her own thing, and let her be her own person.
Independence is a trait to be valued and encouraged at all costs. Remember, boys: She wants you, but she doesn't need you.
5. "Find Your Love" – Drake
I'd better find your lovin'. I'd better find your heart.
We want to see just how determined you are. If we're going to invest time and energy into you, we want to make sure you're willing to work hard to keep us. We put up walls to see just how determined you are to find our lovin'.
6. "How To Love" – Lil Wayne
I just want you to know that you deserve the best. You're beautiful.
Here's the thing: We've all been damaged by love in minor (or major) ways. We need to be reminded that we're beautiful. Sometimes, we have to be reminded about how to love.
7. "Right Thru Me" – Nicki Minaj
You see right through me. How do you do that sh*t?
OK, honestly, this whole song is on point. Listen, guys: If we're dragging our tired asses home at the end of the day and are clearly not happy, but say everything is "fine," call bullsh*t on us.
Get us a glass of wine, make us sit down and let us rant about whatever crazy thing happened to us that day. See right through our bullsh*t, and please call us out on it.
8. "Already Taken" – Trey Songz
They throwin' me that booty. I'm already taken.
Damn straight, you are. We want to trust you on boys' night out. We want to know you're proud to be in a relationship and that you want to protect said relationship. Let those other girls know you're already taken, but don't be a jerk about it.
Guys, while you're prepping for your next date, make this your playlist. You'll go into it wanting to make her feel like the best girl in the world (because she probably is in your eyes).
The key to all this is confidence. Every significant other has the power to make his or her partner experience all the feels of each song. It's all in your actions.