There are two types of people in this world when it comes to facing a compromising situation. One is called a victim, and the other is what I call an acceptor. The difference between the two is simply perspective and the ability to take responsibility.
The victim believes they have absolutely no control of the situation and that there is nothing they can do about it. They also believe that the consequences of what has transpired are in no way their fault so they seek to blame others because they feel powerless. Even though a situation may not be their fault at all, they still will deny responsibility for how they reacted to it.
A perfect example of a typical victim excuse would be something like this, "you made me punch you in the face when you called me a jerk." What this person is really saying is, "I punched you in the face because I have no control of my own body and it's your fault that this happened." Obviously, this is a horse crap excuse and this person chose to punch you in the face instead of remaining calm and choosing not to do so.
The acceptor has the opposite perspective. They believe that even though some circumstances of a situation are not their fault, they try to find out if they have contributed to it. If they realize that their actions are somehow contributing, they immediately take responsibility. By accepting responsibility, they realize that they have the power to change whatever they're doing. So, if someone is calling them a jerk, they will try to find out what they may have done that has caused this person to call them that.
Whether or not they actually did something worthy of being called a jerk, they find ways to alleviate the situation by keeping cool, calm, and collected. They do not make matters worse because they are the type of people that try to find ways to make things better.
Another perfect example of a victim is when someone blames their metabolism for the reason why they're overweight. Even though their metabolism may be slow, they just accept the fact that there is nothing to do about it. They will say something like, "I'm overweight because my metabolism is slow and I was born this way." But is this really the truth? Can they possibly not realize that their diet is actually the reason why they're overweight?
The answer is no. Even though it is true that they may have a genetically slower metabolic rate, they are completely disregarding the fact that metabolisms can be sped up through proper diet and exercise. Victims know what the truth really is and they just refuse to accept responsibility because they know how much effort it would take to make things right. Therefore, they would rather spend their energy trying to convince everyone around them that there's nothing they can do so everyone accepts their bullshit when the real truth is that they are just too lazy to do what's necessary.
An acceptor in the same situation above would not become a victim to their genetic limitations. They would realize that even though their metabolism is slower than others, there must be ways for them to speed it up. So instead of bitching and moaning about their issue, they research and discover ways that can help them lose weight. They then sit down and create a strategic approach to achieve their goal.
No matter what happens to you in your life, there is always one thing you can control, and that is yourself. You can always control how you react to a situation that you have no control of. You must always realize that the key to overcoming any challenge is to accept responsibility and find ways to take action in order to make a difference. Being a victim in any situation only makes matters worse.
Take a look at your own life and try to find the instances in which took the role of a victim. Ask yourself these questions: What did you do that may have caused that situation to unfold? How did you contribute? Was your reaction to the event appropriate? Is there a better way to approach the situation? And what course of action could you take in order to make the situation better?
Should you realize that a situation has gone to the point where there's no way to change it, the best course of action is to remember what took place and then let it go. At least then you can store that experience as a life lesson and are now able to choose, as an acceptor, to stop dwelling it. The key to overcoming situations in life is to stop being a victim and start accepting responsibility so you can take the appropriate action to make a difference.
Angelo John Gage | Elite.