Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda
Coulda, shoulda, woulda are three (almost) words that dwell in the minds of many in our world today. You hear it from every angle of life -- from people saying they could have done something, or should have done something if they had the courage, or would have done something, if something went differently.
Any failure in life is predicated on the regrets housed in these three concepts: coulda, shoulda, woulda. Life might give you what you ask for, but it also poses the reaction to your action. A great friend of mine once explained to me that in life your input will be your output.
If you half-ass something, don't give it your all and become lazy...don't expect an amazing outcome. But if you push yourself and do everything you can to go beyond any boundary you set, if you do everything necessary to achieve your goals -- you will end up on top.
That is what life is all about; it really is that simple. Luck happens when hard work and opportunity intersect -- not when you are wearing your lucky shirt and lucky watch. Too many people wait for something to happen, for handouts or for something to magically fall out of the sky.
They set their own limits and are too afraid to go beyond them because they feel as if they have done enough. But most people set their limits too low, which is why they settle for the mediocre life that is given to them: the easy way out.
The thing about those three words is that they pose the completely opposing action to what you should input and the action you could have put forth, which is why they are merely representative of broken wishes, said after the fact when it does not go your way. These three words can become a deadly trend in your life. They get you accustomed to not giving life the effort it deserves -- doing the bare minimum just to get by.
And you'll harp on these words because it makes you feel better to know that there was a possibility that you could have done something better to have a better outcome.
That lets your mind be okay with your average stance because it rallies on the broken promise that next time it might be better -- because all you have to do is that extra bit that you were saying coulda, shoulda, woulda toward. The issue is that you never break out of it and constantly allow your failures and mediocrity to pile up to the point of no return.
The problem with people is that they are lazy. They will never go above and beyond on the effort they award something because they are content with simply passing by life and are afraid to raise the bar because they are afraid of failure. These words are simply regrets and they are regrets that we hold within us. When something doesn't go right in our lives, we do one of two things: rally or capitulate.
The weakest of the weak will find excuses and things to blame as to why things didn’t go their way. Or they will start blaming themselves and start regretting that they could have done just a tad bit more and it would have been a better outcome. What we don't realize is that instead of letting these regrets get to us, bring us down and dwell on them, we should just learn from them and next time make sure we do what we can, shall and will.
We forget to factor in the amount of variables that actually go into this and that we cannot worry about the things that we can't control. We should only be worried about ourselves and the effort we put forth, rather than the effort we are not going to put forth.
People are cowards and are at times too afraid to take the next step in life. What is regret? You wish you had done something differently. The sad reality is that there are no dress rehearsals in life, there is no "Way Back" machine that gives you opportunities for do-overs. You get one shot at life, so you might as well take it otherwise there will be a whole lot of "shoulda, coulda, woulda" when you look in the rearview mirror of your life.
You don't get too many chances and your strongest value and mindset shouldn’t be regret but rather using the "take your shot" approach and seizing each and every opportunity that comes your way. Just remember when you slack on something, you are not only cheating life, but also cheating yourself and your future and that holds extreme value to your life.
The only thing regret relates to in life is action and inaction. From our actions, we can only learn to use them as stepping-stones that will help us develop as a person. From our inaction, we chew ourselves ourselves out and wish something had gone differently.
The moral of the story is always act with passion and the utmost effort. If you're doing something half-ass that means you don't love it -- so stop doing it. Everything holding you back in life is just an illusion you create in your mind to generate the bullshit excuse to explain why you are where you are in your life.
Preston Waters | Elite.