How To Talk To Your Friends About Money Without Ruining The Vibe

Even if you’re talking to your BFF (the one you share everything with), things can suddenly get awkward when money enters the chat. Maybe you’re chasing a forgotten payback request, trying to opt out of pricey weekend plans, or feeling weird about always picking up the tab. Talking about finances with friends can feel like a total vibe killer.

But here’s the thing: Avoiding the convo altogether is way worse for your friendships and your wallet.

The good news: There are low-drama, noncringe ways to speak up. We asked nationally recognized money expert Andrea Woroch, who’s appeared on the Today show and Good Morning America, and Bola Sokunbi, certified financial education instructor and author and founder of Clever Girl Finance, to break down exactly how to handle these convos without guilt or awkwardness. Below, steal their scripts for what to say when splitting bills, saying “no” to expensive plans, and more.

How To (Casually) Ask For Your Money Back

Picture this: You’re out to dinner with a friend. You volunteer to pay with your card (hello, points!), but your friend forgets to pay you back. Now what?

Woroch suggests sending them a breezy text. Try something like: “Hey, just a reminder to send me your share for dinner last night.” Or skip the text entirely and go straight to a Venmo request.

Still nothing? The next time you’re out together, try a lighthearted comment: “I covered you last time. It’s your turn tonight, right?”

The main thing is not waiting too long. The more time passes, the weirder it feels to bring up, and the less likely you are to get paid back.

If this starts to feel like a pattern, Woroch says it might be time to set a financial boundary. One way to do this is by framing it around your situation: “Hey, I’ve got a lot of expenses coming up, so I can’t cover anyone else right now.” It keeps the focus on your needs without making it personal.

How To Suggest Splitting The Bill Differently

You skipped the wine. You ordered the cheapest thing on the menu. You should not be paying $84.

If you’re out with friends and didn’t participate in the pricier part of the meal, it’s OK to say so. Sokunbi recommends being honest and direct: “Hey, guys, I didn’t drink, so I’m just going to cover my meal.”

No one will feel offended if you just point out that you had a less expensive dish or didn’t drink.

“No one will feel offended if you just point out that you had a less expensive dish or didn’t drink,” Woroch says. “A lot of the time, it’s not that anybody wants you to cover their portion; it’s just out of ease or not realizing what you got or didn’t get.”

Woroch suggests another move: Ask for separate checks at the start of the meal to avoid awkward math later. A simple, friendly ask, such as “Hey, would it be possible to do separate checks?” when the server first arrives works just fine without making it a big deal.

How To Opt Out of Expensive Plans

Your friends are planning a birthday dinner at a fancy restaurant or maybe a weekend getaway, but it’s not in your budget. Deep breaths. You can say no and still be a good friend.

“Just keep it real,” Sokunbi says. She recommends saying “That sounds like it’s going to be a great birthday dinner, but I can’t make it because it’s not in my budget right now.”

You can even keep it light and use humor to soften the message. Try something like “Girls, I love you, but that trip costs $5,000, and my bank account said nope. Have fun and send pics!” Sokunbi says making it funny helps avoid awkwardness while setting a clear boundary.

Woroch emphasizes that honesty is the best policy, and your reasons don’t have to be dramatic. Whether you’re saving for something big or just can’t swing it, it’s OK to decline.

You’ll be surprised at how many people actually feel the same way and will appreciate you taking the lead.

Woroch also encourages suggesting lower-cost alternatives, like hosting a potluck at home instead of going out for an expensive dinner or opting for general admission tickets instead of splurging on premium seats at a concert. Alternatively, you can opt for partial participation as a work-around, such as joining a group dinner for just a drink afterward or attending a day of a group trip instead of the whole weekend.

Small shifts like these help you stick to your budget and show others it’s OK to prioritize your financial health. “You’ll be surprised at how many people actually feel the same way and will appreciate you taking the lead,” Woroch says.

The Takeaway

Being transparent about money isn’t rude — it’s respectful. And, according to the pros, it’s actually what keeps friendships healthy.

“Your true friends aren’t going to judge you for setting financial boundaries,” says Sokunbi. And if someone makes you feel bad for being up front about your budget or constantly pressures you to overspend, it may be time to reassess that friendship. “That’s not someone who has your best interest at heart,” Woroch says.

The biggest mistake? Not talking about it. Being honest about your finances helps you stay on track with your goals and allows your friends to feel safe doing the same.