I started my job on July 13, 2015.
My 22nd birthday was July 14, 2015.
This places me in the youngest age bracket in my office filled with burgeoning 20- and 30-somethings.
I love being 22, but ever since joining the workforce, I’ve noticed just how bitter people are about their age.
Age has never been an issue in my mind.
It’s just a number; why does anyone give a flying f*ck about it if you’re doing your work and doing it well?
Well, if there’s anything I’ve learned since graduating college in May, it’s that people do care about their age.
The worst part of it is everyone likes to vent about their adulthood onto their youngest coworkers, and it’s f*cking annoying.
Take it from someone who knows -- there is nothing worse than being the youngest person in your office.
1. Everyone automatically assumes you’re incapable. Just by default.
Oh, you’re 22? Let me go talk to someone more experienced.
2. You’re constantly having to over-prove yourself because everyone sees you as the baby.
* Writes 12 articles in three hours to prove self.*
3. Everyone makes jokes about your age.
“Omg you are so 22, it’s adorable."
4. You don’t recognize the songs playing at happy hour.
Is this Pitbull?
5. You still wanna hit up college bars after work, but your coworkers want to do low-key sh*t.
“Ugh, that bar is filled with so many young people.” Yes, that's exactly the point.
6. You still visit college during breaks.
My glory days have not ended, do you hear me?!
7. You still miss college.
Yeah...my glory days are pretty much over. *Assumes fetal position.
8. Coworkers have literally referred to you as a “fetus.”
9. You play the young card when you get a little too carried away at happy hour.
My excuse is I’m young.
10. Everyone expects you to be the tank of happy hour since you’re fresh out of school, but then they shame you for getting too drunk.
I seem to be getting mixed signals here.
11. You make immature jokes and no one gets them.
Well, this is awkward.
12. Older coworkers make sly remarks about how they’re jealous of you, your skin, your inexperience or the future ahead of you.
Pretty sure this is the future I thought about when I was a kid (which I no longer am). But yes, please keep complimenting my skin. That is acceptable.
14. Everyone rolls their eyes when you even bring up age.
“You don’t know real pain until you’re my age.” Which would be what, 23? Okay.
15. You can’t even talk about age because everyone gets mad.
Yeah you right, I’ve only been alive for two decades but have experienced nothing in life.
16. You’ve probably befriended one of the oldest in the office.
They struggle, too.
17. Sometimes your slang gets lost on the older generation.
I can’t really explain what ‘lit’ means. You just have to feel it.
18. You constantly feel like you don’t belong.
Is there anyone out there who really gets me?
19. You freak out when you meet a coworker who’s the same age as you.
Did we just become best friends?! YUP.
20. Someone makes a comment about your age at least once a week.
And that’s on a slow week.
21. You’re the only ones down for a mid-week happy hour because your ripe bodies can handle the hangover.
I’m gonna pound tequila sodas tonight and not even f*cking feel it tomorrow morning. And it’s gonna be amazing. Because I’m 22.
23. Your ability to be an adult changes each day.
Hmm, nope. Not feeling the whole “adult” thing today. Try again tomorrow.
24. You get confused when people talk about your age because they’re still in their 20s themselves.
I’m literally two years younger than you. Stop acting like you’re Albus f*cking Dumbledore with a lifetime of unconventional wisdom.
25. If you’re in an authoritative position, nobody actually takes you seriously as an authority.
The fact that you’re 22, fresh out of college and already receiving a promotion should be f*cking impressive, not anything else.
26. People call you "cute" and seem to forget that you also have a college degree.
With a double major and double minor, but who cares about that, right? I’m young!
27. Your intelligence and work ethic are “shocking” for someone your age.
Even though your age should have nothing to do with it.
28. It becomes more and more clear every single day that you’re going to have to work twice as hard as everyone else.
Bring it on.