The Top 15 Worst Times To Have A Hangover In College, Ranked
College students are notorious for finding any excuse to drink.
Whether it's to celebrate the end of a long week or to celebrate a Tuesday, there's nothing quite like that feeling that comes from cracking open an underaged can of sh*tty beer in the comfort of a musty old dorm room.
And, if you're legal, that feeling is even better because you can actually leave the dorm to imbibe (slightly) less sh*tty beers at the bar near campus.
A huge part of being a college student is balancing this art of binge drinking with being a real, boring adult.
You have to endure four years of mastering flip cup and succeeding in academia. You have to learn how to enjoy fruit flavored alcohol and how to write a killer resume. Engaging in one while forgetting the other is detrimental to your overall college experience.
The balance is tough, but I promise it's doable -- if you can handle the hangovers.
Because as much as we all wish it were, the six shots of tequila that resulted in head-pounding nausea and a general distaste for humanity isn't an excuse to be a piece of sh*t and forget your responsibilities.
Regardless, having a hangover in college sucks. It sucks even more in these 15 situations, ranked from not-THAT-bad to I-wish-I-could've-just-died-in-my-sleep.
15. The day you have to go to work
Being hungover at work is the worst, but at least you don't have to pretend like you want to be there because nobody wants to be there. You have permission to feel like sh*t.
14. The moment you see the person you hooked up with last night
You both know what went down at that party last night, and you both probably still have sweat and bodily fluids crusting over in random crevices on your skin. This is just awkward.
13. The day of a football game
There's just a lot of screaming and cheerful school spirit that you're really not in the mood for. But there's also tailgating, which could be good or bad depending on whether or not you believe in the effectiveness of the hair of the dog.
12. The day you have plans to go to the city
Last week, your friends made big plans to have brunch and go shopping in town. Pretending to be excited about anything sounds draining, but at least you'll have a fun distraction from your upset stomach that's threatening you with beer sh*ts.
11. The moment you run into the professor whose class you skipped that morning
This is very uncomfortable. Does he know that email you sent him at 3 AM about how you "really don't feel well, I'm so sorry!" was complete bullsh*t?
Yes, he knows. He can see right through you and your $4-vodka-cranberry-stained shirt.
10. The day your parents visit
Your parents will ask you about school and if there are any "cute boys" around, and you'll be expected to respond politely, and nicely and not in a manner that sounds like you hate the world right now, which you do.
Sigh. They came so far to see you, and you're being such an assh*le.
9. The day you have a disciplinary meeting
You have to hide your hangover so the RA currently bitching at you doesn't know you were drinking last night, so you distract yourself from your need to vomit by staring at the garbage can in the corner and making sure you blink enough times so it's convincing.
And nodding. Just a lot of nodding.
8. The day you have to travel home for break
Turbulence + nausea = complete disaster.
7. The day you agreed to volunteer
Oh God. Now you not only have to help yourself get through the day, but you have to help other people? And possibly do manual labor? F*ck.
6. The day you swore you were going to study/write that essay
Focusing on anything right now is impossible. You can't form a thought, let alone a sentence.
All the words are so tiny, and your head is in so much pain. But, like the idiot you are, you only allotted yourself today to do this.
5. The day you have a test
You can hardly remember a single thing you studied. But hey, at least it's not a midterm, aka 70 percent of your grade.
4. The day you have to give a group presentation in class
Your voice is raspy. Your hair is just unkempt enough where everyone knows you're hungover, and you're stumbling on your words. Worst of all, the rest of your group wants to murder you.
3. The day you have something more important planned that night
You have your formal tonight, which you've been looking forward to for months. But last night, you decided to get drunk doing something that wasn't even that fun. Such a waste of a hangover.
2. The day of a final or midterm
This is basically the entirety of your grade. If you mess up too bad, you could fail the class. Then you'd have to overload next semester or pay for another semester.
Both of those options sound like a nightmare.
1. Graduation day
The day drags for hours, and you feel the sun, along with the hair you half-ass straightened this morning, beating down on your sweaty back.
The contacts you fell asleep in last night are fused to your eyeballs. Your family wants to take nice pictures, but you look like the aftermath of a car crash in which one of the cars burst into flames, and you want no part of commemorating anything.
You aren't as sentimental as you know you should be -- and you know you'll regret it later -- but right now, you just want to get the f*ck to bed.
For a moment you actually convince yourself that you died last night because this truly must be hell.