Humans Are Overrated: 10 Reasons A Bottle Of Wine Beats Having A Bae
When you fall in love, you assume nothing can go wrong.
But once you move past the honeymoon stage, a man will bring stress, fighting and screaming.
When we are stressed by our relationships, who do we turn to? Wine.
When your man ditched you because he double booked his night, what do you do?
Stay in bed, drink a glass of wine with a face mask and watch a romantic comedy.
So, why not drop the heartache and stick to the one who has always been there for you?
Let’s get real: Unlike a bad relationship, bad wine is still good wine when you drink enough of it.
Stop wasting your pennies on a relationship that isn’t treating you right, and start investing in what really matters: adult grape juice.
When life tries to drag you down, here are 10 reasons why the bubbles in your prosecco will be there to keep you afloat:
1. Wine is a fan favorite.
You’ll never have to worry about introducing a guy to your family again.
Instead of bringing a hardcore biker home who will scare the folks, bring a nice bottle chardonnay and everyone will be happy.
2. Wine has no alternative motives to getting you drunk.
Unlike meeting a random guy in the bar who will push the drinks to get you loose and vulnerable, wine just wants to make you feel stress-free and comfortable.
No one will be tricking you to go home with him, and instead, you will probably be the one bringing wine home.
3. Wine lasts forever.
How can you have your heart broken by a bottle of wine that doesn’t go bad?
Wine will never leave you, and when you finish one bottle, there are hundreds more waiting in line for you.
Wine is in it with you for the long haul.
4. Wine will always be willing to open up.
You don’t need to wait for months to get wine to open up and show you who he is.
All you’ll need is a corkscrew, and that baby is ready to be cracked open the minute you buy it.
Wine's openness will also make you comfortable enough to show who you are right away.
5. You will never feel judged by your bottle.
If you want to gorge yourself on a package of Oreos and a dozen fried pickles, your trusty sidekick will be right there.
You will never have to worry about hearing, “Are you really going to eat that?” again.
6. You’ll never have to choose between wine and girls' night.
You can always bring a couple bottles to tag along on girls' night. In fact, your friends will probably encourage it.
You can all bring your bae of choice and have a wild group party.
The fear of losing touch with your besties will never cross your mind again.
7. It’s the perfect tagalong for all activities.
You want to take a knitting class? Wine is in.
You want to watch "The Bachelorette?" Wine will be waiting for you on the couch.
No matter the activity, you’ll never hear complaints from this perfect other half.
8. The older the wine, the better.
Imagine never fighting a man about a mid-life crisis.
You won’t have to explain to wine why he can’t have a motorcycle, or why he can’t refurbish the old car he had as a teenager.
The saying goes, “Wine gets better with age” for a reason.
9. You’ll never hear a jealous rant again.
If you have a boyfriend, you know that every time you go out together and he sees you talking to another man, you’re definitely going to hear about it when you get home.
Turn to wine, and you can toggle between reds and whites like it’s your job, with no consequences or regret.
10. It’s good for your heart.
Studies have proven that a glass of wine can be beneficial to heart health.
Not only will wine never break your heart, but it will actually benefit your overall health.
Thank me later for the perfect excuse because now, you can skip the gym.
Wine is basically the same as cardio.