Want to feel old? Siri, our beloved smartphone genius, occasional bitch, and reluctant ally, officially turned five on October 4, 2016.
Personally, I have something of a love/hate relationship with this lucrative form of humanized technology, as she rarely interprets my questions correctly and often gets irritated when I joke with her.
Obviously, to me, Siri is a woman, as I've yet to switch her voice over to something more comical and less patronizing. Though she and I aren't very fond of each other, I do have a detailed description of what I believe she'd look like.
Of course, internet smart asses will remind me that if Siri were a person, she'd be Siri's voice actor, Susan Bennett. But I think Siri is reminiscent of Judi Dench in her 50s, dressed similarly to “M” in the James Bond franchise. She's sophisticated and bookish, but also kind of boring.
I don't see my Siri doing much other than having the occasional glass of red wine while stationed comfortably inside her personal library in front of a very large computer center, where she researches which restaurants are best in your area.
My Siri favors muted colors, like browns, greys and beige, and dresses primarily in Hillary Clinton pantsuits, despite never really entertaining guests (aside from the occasional dinner party with like-minded academics, who challenge each other incessantly).
Since no one Siri is alike, I wanted to see how others perceive Siri as an actual person.
Here are 10 creative individuals' takes on what Siri actually looks like to them:
1. A sophisticated British man who doesn't wear socks:
— Lisa, 29
2. A submissive love interest:
— Robert, 55
3. Kate Beckinsale in "Underworld" with Bluetooth, basically: