What’s the one common goal everyone hopes to achieve during his or her lifetime? Let me guess: happiness. This is a tricky situation because happiness isn’t just one state of being; it’s a mentality. It’s the ability to take what life has given you and to personalize it in a way that benefits you. If you work at happiness, maybe (just maybe), you will find something that satisfies you temporarily. Honestly, happiness is simply a by-product of living a loving, meaningful life.
There is no guide, no rules, no manual that will teach you how to live a “happy” life. There is advice, however, that can teach you how to approach certain situations to gain the best result.
“Happiness is not determined by what’s happening around you, but rather what’s happening inside you. Most people depend on others to gain happiness, but the truth is, it always comes from within.” - Anonymous
True happiness comes from surrounding yourself with people whom you love and love you in return. If the people you surround yourself with are bringing you down, then it's time to trim the fat. I guarantee once you eliminate the negative people in your life, you will be that much happier. Why would you choose to spend time with people that are holding you back when you can surround yourself with people that can elevate you?
One of the biggest challenges in life is learning to accept people for who they truly are. Once you realize that your expectations cannot change people, the better off you will be. The problem will arise when the expectations do not materialize. If you find that you are going out of your way much more than the people you surround yourself with, it may be time to make some adjustments.
“I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.” – Martha Washington
It is so hard to make real progress in your life when you are stumbling over old roadblocks. Look around at your immediate surroundings. If there is something that is not bringing value and meaning to your life, then get rid of it. Do not feel obligated to hold on to something that is only making you miserable. You owe it to yourself to lead the best possible life you can.
You, and only you, are in control of your happiness and when you choose to expand your mind and to focus on the good, you will be happier. It is different for everyone, but once you stop looking for excuses as to why you cannot be happy, you will find so many reasons as to why you can. People make these justifications to prevent themselves from achieving greatness. This is a horrible mistake to make in life because all you are doing is sabotaging yourself.
“I do not fix problems. I fix my thinking. Then problems fix themselves.” - Louise Hay
Everything you experience throughout the course of your life is unique to you, since your perception is what is shaping your reality. Expectation is what lies at the root of all heartache. Why? Because you falsely assumed someone’s behavior would match your expectations. What happens when you realize the complete and utter error of your ways? You grow increasingly upset because you cannot wrap your mind around why someone would behave in this manner. That's because you could never do something like that, so it’s difficult to understand the reasoning behind someone else’s actions.
You can do things that will make you happy in the sense by gauging a situation. If circumstances will upset you, then you need to avoid them; actively realize what brings you joy and what brings you sadness. This is a way to ensure a happy existence. There is virtually no simpler way to recognize this. Something either brings you pain or pleasure and the things that bring you pleasure are what you should dedicate your time to.
“The trick is to enjoy life. Don’t wish away your days waiting for better ones ahead.” -Marjorie Pay Hinckley
The journey is where you will achieve the happiness you think you are searching for, not the destination. Once you achieve this “goal,” then what? You have it and it's over. Relish in this accomplishment, but it will mostly likely be short-lived. Good things come to those who go out and f*cking earn it. Happiness is not something that will be delivered to your doorstep. Embrace the journey and the lessons you will learn from it.
Focusing on the present moment is crucial; if you spend your time wallowing in the past or worrying about the future, you are only going to stress yourself out. Actively engage yourself in what you are currently doing and immerse yourself fully. Appreciate the fact that you are able to do whatever it is you are doing and realize how fortunate you are in shaping your own life.
“Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life in which chance has placed us, but is always the result of a good conscience, good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits.” - Thomas Jefferson
Learn to depend on yourself rather than others to bring you fulfillment. Only once you are happy on your own, can you hope to share your happiness with others. If you don’t, your unhappiness will resurface and manifest itself in destructive ways. You cannot hope to have any sort of successful relationship, whether it’s in the platonic sense, romantic sense or business sense. If you aren’t comfortable with yourself, how do you ever expect any relationship to flourish?