I love vanilla ice cream. THERE, I SAID IT.
I love vanilla ice cream. I would even go so far as to say that it is my favorite ice cream flavor. And you know what? I am just plain SICK of being shamed for it.
Other lovers of vanilla know what I'm talking about. You can never just order your ice cream like a lover of Rocky Road or Cookies and Cream without having someone be like, "You sure? But vanilla is so boring!" Like, um, sorry, WHAT'S IT TO YOU WHAT I ORDER?!
Somehow, in the minds and hearts of the American people, vanilla has managed to become our national symbol for "boring." So much so that we even use it as our definition for a boring person.
"Why didn't you go on a second date with that guy from last Tuesday?"
"Ugh, he was nice, but he was so vanilla."
Cue: a little part of me fuming with anger as I scramble for ways to defend my favorite ice cream flavor.
But you know what? Enough is enough. I'm DONE being hated on for the ice cream I love best. So, since National Vanilla Ice Cream Day is tomorrow, I am here to defend myself and all other lovers of vanilla ice cream once and for all. UNITED WE STAND.
First and foremost, vanilla ice cream offers us with an endless stream of possibilities. If desserts were office supplies, vanilla would be a plain white sheet of paper. When you see a plain white sheet of paper, you might think, "boring," but you know what I think of? Let me tell you. I think of OPPORTUNITY.
Oh, the endless opportunities you can have with that classically delicious vanilla base. Slap a dollop on top of your warm cookie, swirl it up with chocolate in the soft serve machine and plop it on top of a freshly baked waffle cone, scoop it into a bowl with some hot fudge and whipped cream, cover it in rainbow sprinkles, pair it with your warm slice of pie on Thanksgiving, have it with some fresh strawberries on a hot summer day... the options are endless.
What's important to note here is that "boring old vanilla ice cream" is what's actually managing to SPICE UP all of these desserts. I'd like to see you try to pair your scoop of Rocky Road with your warm pumpkin pie. NEWSFLASH: THAT SOUNDS GROSS.
You can have vanilla a million different ways, but then you can always just eat it plain straight out of the cart and let your taste buds take solace in the comfortable familiarity that comes along with it. That's the thing about vanilla. There's something timeless about it. It's got this element of comfort that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside despite its inherent coolness. Other flavors will come and go, but vanilla is timeless.
So next time someone HATES ON YOU by calling you boring for ordering vanilla ice cream, tell them that actually you are just a timelessly classic blank canvas, symbolic of endless opportunity. HAHA, TAKE THAT, HATERS.
Also, maybe tell them that your choice in ice cream does not define who you are as a HUMAN BEING. Yeah, I know. Shooting fire burns left and right. If you still don't believe me, look at these yummy pictures of vanilla being delicious I put together for you from Instagram.
SEE, GUYS? VANILLA CAN BE COOL, TOO.