I've never been pregnant, but that doesn't stop my closest circle of friends from making fun of me for my mom-like tendencies. So what if I wear high-rise jeans, love cheesy Hallmark movies and cry at the drop of a hat?
Here are five times we totally become the "mom" of our friend groups, despite never having our own kids:
1. The Work Mom
This is your co-worker who says, "Hey everyone, look! I brought in homemade cupcakes!" at least twice a month. The work mom is quick to address everyone first thing in the morning. She never fakes sick or talks trash on the annoying client waiting in the hallway.
She's an absolute doll, often wearing a lot of button-ups and pleated dress slacks. She always volunteers to make her famous spinach and artichoke dip for birthday parties, going away parties or company functions. Even during those parties, she's the one who stays behind to help clean up, and she doles out slices of cake to her co-workers covered in plastic wrap.
2. The Dog Mom
If you're this mom, your entire Facebook feed is filled with candids of your pup. Your Internet friends are immune to seeing Buddy's scrunched nose and beady eyes.
You don't even capture pictures of the special moments; your posts are strictly day-to-day puppy happenings. Your Facebook is all about the candid shots. "Here's one of Buddy eating his bone," "here's one of Buddy sleeping on my legs" and "here's one of Buddy taking a dump in the backyard" are your most common captions.
3. The Friend Mom
The friend mom is the stand-in mom for your friend's actual mother. When your best friend complains about her mom's outlandish rules, you're often heard agreeing with the mom. You play the devil's advocate. You ask your friend quite often, "Yeah, but don't you think it's hard for her to see you growing up so fast?"
Likewise, the friend mom also tends to lecture her friend on punctuality and safe sex, and reminds her she needs to settle down so the two of them can have weddings and babies at the same time.
4. The House Mom
You're often heard saying this phrase to your significant other, "How many times do I have to ask you to take out the trash?" You're the control freak mom. You like to come home to a tidy house, and definitely don't like it when your counterpart doesn't put in equal efforts.
You're the kind of woman who enjoys running the show, wearing the pants and then recanting by saying, "I'm just so tired, and it hurts my feelings when I feel like I have to do everything around here." You're also really good at mom guilt.
5. The "You've Turned Into Your Mom" Mom
The day when you look into the mirror and see a slight reflection of your mom starring back at you will inevitably come. You begin to cry at sappy cereal or Tampax commercials, which is a habit you used to make fun of your own mother for. You value the friendship of one more than the quantities of others. You get unbelievably happy when you buy a new candle on sale, and then you rush home to light it.
You can't handle Taco Bell anymore (RIP), and in typical mom fashion, you will legitimately say the music kids listen to today is terrible. You'll think kids today are disrespectful, and you'll say to your husband, "I never would have talked to my mom like that!" You'll start wearing reading glasses, fall asleep at 9 pm on a Friday and wake up early on Saturdays so you can get to the grocery before it's busy.
Suddenly, it happened. You morphed completely into mommy dearest. But, it's OK. You know there's no way your kids will ever think you're not cool. You have this.