The World Is Not Against You: Why You Need To Stop Acting Like The Perpetual Victim

by Aramide Tinubu

Quite often, I scroll through my social media pages and stumble across the most self-involved, disgusting thoughts imaginable.

I’m not here to address the self-absorbed, selfie-obsessed society that social media has created, but rather, those who use Twitter and Facebook as substitutes for their middle school diaries.

It’s true that depression and mental illness are very real; however, oftentimes the people who write these self-loathing manifestos are merely victimizing themselves about the unfair world in which they live.

Here are some specific examples of the egregious over-shares and suggestions on how to correct this insufferable outlook on life.


The first sign that you practice victimology is that you can’t get through a day without constantly complaining about the struggles.

Water is too wet, the sky is too blue and something is always amiss. The world has apparently conspired against you, which is why the line at Starbucks is so long. People who constantly complain are extremely draining.

There must be something about your life that you enjoy, and if not, what are you doing to change your circumstances? You can move and change; your situation is not permanent.


It’s never your fault that you didn’t complete a project on time or that you didn’t arrive somewhere promptly. Things happen to you all of the time. You always have some excuse as to why things didn’t go your way and it’s never your doing! Someone else plotted against you and ensured your downfall… each and every time.

Sure, sometimes things don’t work out how you desired and sometimes, that has nothing to do with the decisions that you made. However, if you are a reasonable adult with some semblance of control over your own life, this is a tired excuse. Blaming things on other people is a child’s habit and one that should have exhausted itself upon elementary school graduation.

Continuing to blame your poor decisions and their consequences on others is a sure sign that you practice victimology. If you continue to behave in this manner, one day, you’ll look around and realize that you have no friends left on which to expend them blame.


It’s normal, especially in today’s social-media-saturated world, to be envious of what other people have. From material things to relationships, all of it is spread out like a buffet for us to consume.

You may wish to own some particular car or purse or the security of a relationship; however, it’s helpful to remember that you don’t walk in anyone’s shoes but your own and you don’t know anyone’s struggles but your own.

There is no use in being bitter about what someone has that you don’t. Looking at what others have accomplished should force you to strive to do things that are bigger and better than what you’re doing now.

If you want something, figure out how you can work hard to get it. Other people’s successes should be your motivation, not an excuse to sit back and spew hatred.

Making Excuses

Instead of trying to get more accomplished during your day (you have the same number of hours as Beyoncé) or reaching for your goals, you choose to make excuses.

Similar to blaming other people for your so-called misfortune, making excuses is another sign that you practice victimology. When you can’t find anyone to blame, you choose to try and justify why things haven’t happened or why you have yet to reach your goal.

Perhaps you didn’t wake up on time, or maybe no one gave you the opportunity you felt you deserved. Either way, it’s easier to be defensive than to own up to your own sh*t, right?

Be honest with yourself: Do you practice victimology? If you do, don’t fret; all is not lost.

The first step is to admit that you have a problem. All you have to do is address it and find ways to adjust your behavior. What are your goals? I know you have some. Write them down and create a plan of action.

Ask for help if you need it; no one likes a whiner, but people are usually more than happy to help when asked. Finally, one of the most important steps you can take to free yourself from a victim’s mentality is to find one thing a day that makes you smile, one thing that makes you feel happy. Acknowledge it and be thankful for it.

With positive energy and luck, you will soon be well on your way to leaving victimology behind you.

Photo via We Heart It