The Worst Types Of People You Encounter On Social Media
As social media sites continue to invade every aspect of our lives, it should come as no surprise how f*cking annoying they can be. There are certain users who take advantage of the advancement technology has made. From Instagram to Facebook to Twitter, we see these people all over every social media platform and can’t help to think to ourselves, “WHY?!”
Let’s take a closer look at the worst types of social media users:
The “Happy” Couple
Gag me. Usually it is the girl’s fault in this situation, as for some indecipherable reason she feels the need to only upload pictures of her and her boyfriend. If you were so secure in your relationship, why do you need to flaunt it on every social media platform? The truth is that no one cares about your romantic getaway or the kissy faces you two are making at each other.
The Yogi/Fitness Connoisseur
For some reason this type of person does not understand that you do not need to document every workout you have completed in your life. Good for you that you can do downward dog or jog 10 miles in one day. This does not need to be updated via pictures and status every single damn day. You do not need to make the rest of us feel bad as we smoke a J and stuff our faces on our couch every Sunday afternoon.
The Accidentally Pregnant Girl
Listen, we all know you didn’t plan on getting knocked up, so please do not show the rest of us, who are busy doing keg stands, pictures of your sonogram. We know the truth: it was an accident. No one in their right mind plans on getting pregnant between the ages of 18 and 23. If you are still supported by your parents, what makes you think you can take care of a child? Chances are you can’t even take care of yourself. They invented Plan B for these reasons, embrace it.
Congratulations, you ate a meal, so did the rest of us! The difference here is that not everyone feels the need to upload every Dragon Roll they consume. Please spare the rest of us the pictures of your dinner, this is not bringing anything meaningful into anyone’s life.
Believe it or not you are not the only person who has a cute puppy. Don’t even get me started on cats because they are just terrifying. We all get how much you love your pets, but honestly no one actually cares besides you.
The Master of the Selfie
I really am at a conundrum between which type of post is worse: this or pregnant people. Are you that shallow that you need your self-esteem boosted by the amount of “likes” you receive? Unless you’re doing something absurd or hilarious, we don’t need your kissy faces bombarding our news feed on a daily basis. Selfie Sunday? Please for the sake of all that is holy, STOP.
The Political Activist
I don’t care how much you think your opinion about a political party matters -- no one else cares. These are your personal opinions that you are entitled to flaunt as you please because some idiot invented the first amendment. In these types of situations, sh*t needs to be censored. Thank God the presidential election only happens once every four years or we’d all be f*cked.
“Wahh, I am so sad!”; “My boyfriend/girlfriend just dumped me!”; “The world is such an unfair place!”; “I hate my job!” Holy hell people shut up, this is Facebook, not your personal diary. Take your complaints and problems to your therapist’s office, leave them off social media. Do you really need that much attention that you need to bombard your friends' news feeds with your incessant problems?
I get it, rolling with your homies is a lot of fun, but it is probably not a good idea to post pictures of you and your friends with your eyes rolled back into your skulls. This is not a good look for anyone, I don’t care how hot you think you look. We are adults, dressing in neon and spandex and running around Metlife stadium should not be publicly advertised.
The Person With Back-to-Back Uploads
Nothing is more irritating than seeing someone upload five pictures to Instagram back-to-back. All you are doing is flooding my newsfeed with your irrelevant nonsense. We don’t need to see pictures of you in a bathing suit at every different possible angle. Pick your best picture and upload it. I mean isn’t your goal to like get all the “likes” you possibly can?! The more pictures you upload, the fewer “likes” you’re going to get, duh.