Stop Being A Show-Off, You Suck At Life

by Paul Hudson

We've all seen them before: that guy or girl that is always covered head to toe in their most expensive attire, always talking about how well things are going for them and how they are God's gift to the world — while in reality the car they drive is a rental, they spent their weekly salary on the t-shirt that they left the tag on so that they can return the following day, and haven't been able to hold down a steady job in years.

The show-offs of today are solely a product of commercialism and the arrogance that their parents allowed them to develop. While these douches would like to have you believe that they are better than you, the truth is that they are confused and misguided human beings bound to live a life of failure.

These people tend to be so delusional that they actually believe the crap that comes out of their mouths. It's one thing to be spewing garbage and knowing very well that it's a lie, and it's a whole 'nother level of sick to accept that garbage to be facts of life.

Like I have said many times before: we are the ones who create the worlds that we live in. However, while most of us are happy with looking within ourselves and picking out the good things about us — trying to emphasize them and trying to diminish the presence of our flaws — show-offs prefer to take a different route; they embellish their strengths, pretend their flaws don't exist and try to feed others the same bullshit they feed themselves. In other words: they're loonies.

Now, I usually don't mind idiots being idiots; it tends to be easier to just allow the mistaken to continue living in error rather than trying to show them the error of their ways. However, show-offs aren't your regular type of moron — they are the loud, obnoxious, in-your-face, "I'm better than you" type of morons.

While shooting them is out of the question — damn you government and the Ten Commandments — these fools ought to be put in their place. Hence this article. Unfortunately — or thankfully depending on how you look at it — those that visit Elite Daily tend to not be quite as douche-y as the rest of the world, so chances are that those that I am bashing will never get a chance to actually read this.

That is why I am calling on all of you to do your part in bettering this world and put these cowardly show-offs in their place. I know show-offs come off strong; that's their tactic: come off strong and hope that their target doesn't have the balls to knock them in the face.

Not too long ago I had an encounter with one of these idiots while I was DJing. This fool kept on bumping into my table, drink in hand, and after politely asking him several times to back away from my equipment I eventually gave up and gave him a nice shove.

One thing led to another — he started talking about how he would be more than happy to go outside and show me what his years of Jujitsu training has taught him. 10 minutes later the bouncers had to pull me off of him and out of the street for fear that he would be sent to the hospital with a concussion.

I'm not one to condone violence; usually it's just best to avoid these types of people whenever possible. But sometimes avoidance is not an option. Thankfully there are other ways to get these loud-mouthed imbeciles to shut their yappers.

While you could point out all their flaws that they have buried somewhere deep inside of them — like their crooked teeth, their skewed view of the world, or their inability to have a conversation with any substance — I find it best to hit them where it hurts: their social interaction.

Say it as you see it: tell them they are poor excuses for human beings, that have an incredibly skewed misconception of the world and are bound to end up alone, friendless and loveless, only thinking back to the days that they still had a shot to actually make something of themselves. If that fails, walk away. If that fails, rock them in the jugular.

Paul Hudson | Elite.

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