Signs That You're A Social Climber

by Anonymous

Faux-cialites. Social climbers. Posers. We all know one. This is the girl who claims that her family is wealthy when the only thing wealthy about her is her wealth of knowledge of the hotspot knockoff locations on Canal Street.

Everyone can spot these social climbers a mile away and we just wish these girls knew that not one person believes anything that comes out of their mouths.

These people are more concerned with their status than anything else in their lives. It doesn’t matter who they push aside or what it takes; these people will go to any lengths to make sure that they appear to be one of the elite. Unfortunately, it’s conspicuously evident that they’re the exact opposite of elite. Here are four tell-tale signs that someone is a pursuing social climber.

You Spell Designers Wrong

Nothing screams “I only own cheap knockoffs” more than your inability to properly spell any of the designers you superfluously flaunt. You claim to be the real deal and own authentic leather handbags, yet you don’t seem to know that Louie Vuitton is in fact spelled Louis Vuitton.

Not only is it a brand that you claim to own, it’s a world-renowned brand that has more legacy attached to it than most other companies. Misspelling Louis Vuitton is the equivalent to misspelling “Apple” or “iPhone”. Either you’re a liar or you really are as stupid as you’re making yourself seem.

You Pronounce Designers Wrong

You try to tell everyone how excited you are for fashion week and express how much you admire your favorite fashion houses but you can’t manage to properly pronounce the word ‘Lanvin’.

You think you know everything there is to know about designer duds, yet you’ve failed to realize that net-a-porter is actually pronounced net-a-portay.  It’s impossible for you to truly know about a brand or a sect of fashion if you can’t pronounce the words. Unless you’ve got the French accent down pat, you can’t hang.

You can’t spell. Period.

I mean, I’ve never done this because I’m actually intelligent, but it’s super embarrassing when someone tweets or posts a classic Walt Whitman or Charles Dickens quote but can’t define half of the words in said quote. They have difficulty spelling words with more than four syllables and they’re trying to convince us that they’re refined and educated. My ass you are. You’re not fooling anyone; you’d be more convincing tweeting quotes from the Jersey Shore rather than ruining an Edgar Allan Poe poem.

Lacks Etiquette

Sure you may be dressed nicely and you may look pretty, but there’s nothing nice and pretty about the way you’re eating. You don’t know how to properly cut your meat, how to sip not slurp, you are completely unaware of the seven S’s of wine tasting and you don’t know how to lower your voice when in a restaurant. This girl puts on the façade that she’s elegant and lady-like but hardly knows how to act appropriately in a restaurant that doesn’t put prices on its menus.

The point behind this rant is this: find your own means of making a name for yourself. Don’t purchase knockoffs and talk bullshit trying to impress any of us. You know what’s impressive? You educating yourself, working hard and actually obtaining those things that you so desperately crave.

So the next time you think about buying a $50 fake Chanel handbag, just know that we all see right through you and your thinly veiled attempt to be part of “high society”. You can’t get there if you don’t work for it.

Paul Crewe | Elite.