If You Want To Be Employed… Ever, You Should Stop Doing These 7 Things On Social Media Right Now

by Alyssa Samson

Generation-Y is taking over the workforce. We’re either eagerly awaiting the first job or have jumped ship a couple of times in an effort to claw our way to the top. We’re forward-thinking entrepreneurs out to change how the world has been operating throughout the past decade — and we’re determined to make our mark.

Yet, it never fails that while half of us are clamoring to be the next Mark Zuckerberg, the other half seem to be regressing down the that same slippery slope of Lindsay Lohan (pre-rehab). As I comb my newsfeed on a daily basis, I can’t help but notice some reoccurring themes that leave me completely baffled, and sometimes, totally ashamed of our generation.

It’s a new year filled with fresh opportunities; indulge in the arbitrary time window to reinvent yourself. If you don’t want to cringe looking back at your social media footprint a few years down the road, stop doing these things — like now:

1. Enough with the duck faces.


Honestly, I wish I could go back in time and smack the first person who thought that a duck face was sexy or attractive. What part of distastefully protruding your lips to look like a bird is sexy?

In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen or heard a single person comment positively about this look. If you’re flaunting something about your face, it should be your smile. Even if it looks like you eat rocks for breakfast, your smile beats a duck face every time.

2. Incorrect grammar.

Take a look at how many people are in your social media network. Then, think about how many people can see whether you’ve used the incorrect form of “you’re” and “your” in your status.

If you’re unsure or can’t remember which form to use — Google it! YOU ARE ALREADY USING THE INTERNET. BE LESS LAZY. Learning correct grammar isn’t going to kill you. Just remember: grammar is the difference between knowing your sh*t and knowing you’re sh*t.

3. Excessive selfies.

Selfie Share

I would rather scoot down a slide of razor blades into a pool of rubbing alcohol than wake up to an excessive number of selfies littering my newsfeed.

While you may have a beautiful smile, radiant skin and rosy cheeks, I do not need to see a picture of you every five minutes. I’m not interested in a selfie of you in your car… or at the gym… or in your room in front of the mirror (which also happens to display to the world your lack of cleanliness).

Of course, we all have days when we feel the need to unleash our inner Kim Kardashian, and that’s okay! But please, if you must, keep it to a minimum.

4. Excessive pictures of food.

We Heart It

Okay, the food thing I kind of understand. I mean, I’d probably rather look at a mouth-watering steak than a baby, but there is a limit. I’m not interested in the TV meal you made for dinner or the cookies you made for your boyfriend. Unless you’re dining at five-star restaurant on the Amalfi Coast, let’s keep the food porn in moderation.

5. Holding bottles of alcohol.

Distinguished Gentlemen

This really leads me to question our generation. If you’re 21 years old, why do you feel the need to display to the cyber world that you’re busting open two bottles of Malibu for the night? Keep it classy, not trashy.

6. Obnoxious, needless status updates.

I could probably ramble on and on about the various statuses that truly grind my gears and I’m sure you could conjure a few examples as well. But let’s address the elephant in the room: allusive statuses are the worst.

Don’t post a status with a hidden message on which you don’t intend to elaborate. It’s screaming for attention! Let’s not forget those diary-esque relationship posts. If you love your boyfriend or girlfriend SO much, tell him or her — the entire world does not care.

7. Money pictures.

The Twenty Life

Finally, the most irksome post of all: the post or photo that communicates just how wealthy and successful you may be. Nobody, and I mean nobody, needs to show the world how much money he or she has made.

Although we may all be aspiring to become the next rags-to-riches, young entrepreneur success story, flaunting your money has always been a one-way ticket to Douchebagtown.