Spiritual Phrases That Real Spiritual Gurus Roll Their Eyes Over

We're going through some real growing pains in this country. You probably know from personal experience that growth is not easy, but it does demand more of us, and inspires us to demand more of ourselves, and one of the ways we can do that on a personal level is to stop forcing overused and cheap spiritual quotes up on Instagram. They are everywhere, and nobody f*cking asked for them. These are some spiritual phrases that real gurus hate, I'm assuming. I've never met a guru. You know why? Because gurus are too busy to spend their day posting inspirational quotes all over Instagram.

"Live Life To The Fullest"

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Live life to the fullest, and all of it's bullsh*t add-ons, like "you only live once" are hack. They've been done to death. It's on every basic dude-bitch's Tinder bio, right underneath pics of him holding a drugged baby tiger.

We've heard this all before. Not only that, it fills the reader with a sense of inadequacy -- like going to work and showing up for life isn't enough. We can't all wake up and go skydiving every day.

"Be A Rainbow In Someone Else's Cloud"

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Enough. Enough with this. Who has the time to cheer up a walking cloud?

This makes my blood boil because it sounds like bragging. Look, if you wanna throw a smile at someone having a bad day, go for it, but that doesn't make you a f*cking rainbow. I hate this "I'm a hero" attitude. You were a force of positivity, and that's good for you, but it takes literally nothing to walk around smiling.

"Everything Happens For A Reason"

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True, everything happens for a reason. Sure, but what is the reason for everything happening and how to we fix it?

This is the least helpful quote I have ever heard. It actually embraces and promotes total ignorance and I wish you'd all keep it out of your mouths forever. Boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend? "Everything happens for a reason!" Your house burned down with all your valuables? "Everything happens for a reason!" ...Someone actually said this to me at my own sister's funeral, and that was 15 years ago; how is this f*cking quote still being thrown around?

"When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Lemonade"

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Honestly, you can't anymore. You can't make lemonade because Beyoncé already made it, with a capital "L." Compared to hers, whatever lowercase lemonade you think you can make is going to taste like watered-down shit. You can try, though. Am I taking this too literally? Maybe. Did it hurt your feelings? Well, go make some sh*tty lemonade.

I know there are a ton of think-pieces out there today about how to combat actual dangers out there in the world today, things that are genuinely standing in the way of our growth as human beings on this planet earth, but what can I say? I'm petty AF.

I need for y'all to stop acting like gurus when you've only got 33 followers on Instagram.