The growing popularity and progression of social media has a lot of pros: It is great for publicity, businesses, advertisers and startups. For the individual, however, social media have caused problems.
We are the oversharing generation. Millennials often forget that keeping the mystery alive is important for relationships. There is no mystery anymore; we know way too much about each other.
Much of what we share on social media is in an attempt to portray ourselves in a positive light. Ironically, these attempts often backfire, and we inadvertently portray ourselves negatively.
In our attempt to present a controlled, modified and perfected image of ourselves on social media, we become caught up in a battle of what to share and what not to share. But, less is so much more. The more we share, the less authenticity our lives will hold.
Oversharing plays a dangerous role in our generation’s disconnect. Some of us share every detail of our lives on social media. We lack motivation to make plans with friends to catch up because we already know what is happening in their lives just by checking our smartphones.
Conversations have become predictable. Moments have become less authentic. Prospects have become less alluring because there is no mystery. These are only some of the problems caused by oversharing.
Why Does Being Mysterious Make You So Alluring?
The reality is, the less you share on social media, the more meaningful your real-life connections will be.
Everything you share becomes more meaningful the moment you stop oversharing. Every moment becomes more authentic when you aren't experiencing it with an iPhone in your hand. Every bond becomes more personal the moment you stop being available to anyone and everyone online.
If you’re the one who posts at most little hints of your life on social media, you’re on the right track. Whether you post literally nothing, barely anything or only little hints, you’re intriguing others. If somebody wants to know more, he or she would have to go out for dinner or drinks with you.
If someone finds out there is a lot more to you than meets the eye, he or she may suddenly feel a deeper connection with you. When someone learns things about you that not everyone else knows, it feels special to know the real you.
It is no wonder why the mysterious individuals who are not present on social media leave us wanting to know more, engaging our interest and intriguing us beyond our comprehension.
If you are mysterious, conversations with you feel special because you’re a well kept secret. You are inaccessible.
Less Authentic Moments In the Oversharing Generation
The good news we excitedly share over drinks with friends is often preceded by, “You probably already know this through Facebook, but...”
When we receive good news from one of our friends, our reaction to that news is often faked. Most likely, we already knew because of social media, and the moment is, therefore, not authentic or as special.
Last year, one of my best friends landed her dream job. There was a lot of competition for the position, and she desperately wanted it. I had no idea she landed the job because she was one of my few friends who was not active on social media.
When she told me, I was so happy for her that tears came to my eyes; it was a memorable moment for both of us.
If you have good news which you are desperate to share, share it in person! At the very least, we should share the news with our closest friends and family first, before sharing the news on Facebook. Your very first thought upon receiving the news should not be, 'I’ve got to update my Facebook status!'
Sharing Bad News: Portraying Yourself As Someone With A Negative Energy
Bad news should never be shared on social media, especially not as a public status update.
Negative ramblings on social media only make others see you as a negative person. It doesn’t matter if there were external bad things that happened to you; your posts will associate you with that negativity.
A Social Media Checklist
If you find that you often overshare serious subject matter that should be kept private, or you overshare while intoxicated, you may need to make yourself a pre-post social media checklist.
This is not to say that posting big, exciting news is not okay. However, some people might not care that you went to the gym this morning, learned how to cook parmesan dill salmon or that your car got locked in the parking garage.
Sharing too much can have very detrimental effects on friendships, relationships and dating prospects.
Being mysterious makes you incredibly captivating. There are lots of ways you can keep the mystery alive. Remember, you are more likely to be asked out if someone is curious about you.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It