I grew up naked. In my earliest memories, I'm nude. I was just very out there with my dislike of clothes.
I didn't want to be confined to the "fashionable" limits of smock dresses and linen rompers. I didn't understand why it wasn't OK to be naked all the time.
I can thank my ultra-liberal, hippie mother for my shameless adoration of nudity. When we were little, my mom and dad had us do this fabulous thing called “nudey dances.”
It's in no way creepy, I swear -- we were little babies. I was maybe three or four. We'd just run around and dance to Peter, Paul and Mary... all completely naked and free. My mother wanted us to embrace our bodies and never be ashamed.
She hated that society restricted children in such a fundamental way. When we were home, she let us be wild. It was amazing.
I would toss my clothes, piece by piece, to the ground, and then I'd I jubilantly prance around the house to the melody of “Puff the Magic Dragon.”
Being naked was beautiful. Being naked is beautiful. This truth will always be forever ingrained in my mind.
It's a mentality that has followed me through life. Like Tommy from "Rugrats" said, “Nakey is NAKEY!”
I'm always getting naked, no matter who's around. I have two roommates, and I still walk around the apartment in the buff. I think this might make them a little uncomfortable, but I've never seen the problem.
If I'm going to take a shower, why don't I just get naked and hop in? Why bother with all that BS bathrobe hoopla?
Nudity is the ultimate freedom. It is the most poignant way to embrace yourself and eliminate any shame. Nakey is great.
Unfortunately, my opinion on naked liberation is not universal. If it were up to me, I would always be naked.
I would go to work naked, I would go to parties naked, and I would navigate the many forms of New York's public transportation system without so much as my socks on.
Humans are just meant to be naked. It's healthy to be naked. Nudity is our natural state. Clothes are the aliens around here.
But it's not yet socially acceptable for me to ditch the restricting ensembles and run around town in my birthday suit.
I'm forced to waste time every single day constructing fashionable outfits and secretly wishing I could just rock out with literally everything hanging out.
For the sake of not ending up in jail, I guess I can deal... begrudgingly. Here are seven of my struggles as a nudist in a world full of clothes. I know all of my fellow nudists can relate.
1. You make people uncomfortable.
It can be a real struggle to be naked when everyone else is clothed. When you refuse to conform to society's standards and cover up, you definitely make people feel awkward.
The first time I strolled around my apartment in the nude, I could physically sense the discomfort on my college roommate's face. She literally saw my tits after knowing me for less than 12 hours.
Honestly, she's lucky I waited that long. Other people will make you feel bad for constantly being naked, but that's just because they're jealous of your liberation.
2. You're confused by exercise.
Why am I working on my abs if no one gets to see them? Everyone is up in here taking these gym selfies, but they insist on hiding the bods they worked so hard to build.
Wouldn't we all be more inclined to get fit if we couldn't cover up with clothes?
3. You don't own pajamas.
Pajamas don't make any sense to you. Sleeping naked is scientifically good for you, so why would you ever bother with PJs?
If you're going to be forced to wear clothes all day long, you better believe that sleepy time is your one chance to express your right to nakedness. This can become a problem at friends' houses or on family vacations.
You don't know what to wear to bed, because you're used to sleeping in nothing at all. You wind up wearing one of your dad's old nature shirts, hoping that that's considered semi-appropriate.
4. You're always hot.
Everyone is over there loving the stifling hell that is clothing. But you're constantly hot and uncomfortable. Even the softest fabrics feel like itchy bugs on the surface of your skin.
You never feel at home unless you're in your own home, where you can be naked without risking garbage getting thrown at you and are safe from arrest for indecent exposure.
You're astonished that being naked is considered indecent, as that's how everybody entered the world in the first place.
5. When you get drunk, the clothes come off.
When you're forced to wear clothes, you can bet they'll disappear as soon as the shots arrive. When your inhibitions are lowered, so are your pants! But people don't always love that your go-to mentality when drunk is to get naked.
You're regularly told to keep your clothes on, and you refuse. It's frightening how many photographs your friends have of you nakedly diving into the pool, popping bottles and twerking wildly.
You're just a naked girl trying to get by in a boring, clothed world.
6. You never feel like you're being your true self.
No matter how genuine you are, you still feel like you're not being entirely yourself. You feel that you're living a lie. Being clothed just isn't you.
The real you is a naked and unabashedly free individual. You can be as a forthcoming as you want, but as long as you're wearing clothes, you'll never feel be 100 percent pure. The true you is the nudist you.
7. People think you're hypersexual.
When you're a naked person, others will automatically think you're down to f*ck on the reg -- no matter the situation.
What they don't realize is that just because you embrace nudity doesn't always mean you want to hump. Being naked and being sexual are two different things.
People assume that you always want sex: Sex means nudity, and you love being naked. Yes, the lines are blurred and indistinct, and this can be confusing.
But even though I'm a highly sexual woman, I don't always want to bang when I'm hanging out in the buff. I love being naked simply because it's my most natural state. I don't strip to get you interested in my body. I strip because I want to be free.