How To Become A More Positive, Inspiring Person Rather Than A Debbie Downer

by Danielle Bertoli

We all have opposing forces working within us. There is the good and the bad; the love and the fear; the happiness and sadness. It’s a dual system that’s constantly at odds with itself, clamoring and contending until one ensuingly prevails.

As it is human nature to have this balancing performance on display at all times, it is also second nature to decipher which people in our lives stand on the positive side of the scale for us, which includes ourselves.

Within our circle of coworkers, friends and family, we can intuitively choose, off the top of our heads, people we enjoy being around; those who promote optimism and confidence and encourage us to be the best versions of ourselves we can be.

These people have a way of making us feel better about things because they, themselves, are in the process of positive self-development.

As there are the supporters and people who encourage, there are also naysayers and those who disparage. These are the people who always seem to have woken up on the wrong side of the bed; who are always lurking close behind to point out some fault or to bring to mind some impending fear.

These are the kinds of people we try to avoid at all costs so as not to bring ourselves down with them.

How do you know if you are the companion people welcome with open arms or the cynic people try to avoid? Below are the defining characteristics of both an inspirer and a discourager.

The Inspirer

You are both a source of comfort and motivation. People flock to you for advice on personal matters because they trust your experienced and knowledgeable point-of-view. You not only speak about things in an uplifting manner, but also carry yourself in the same regard.

An ardent practitioner of what you preach, others see in you someone who exhibits assurance and influence. You’re a catalyst for affirmative change; you spark an impulse in others to take action for the betterment of themselves.

People see you as someone who chooses to think and say things that are in alignment with what you know to be true. You see in yourself a person who remains authentic to your beliefs and values. You're always ascending to be a better and more well-rounded version of yourself.

The Discourager

You tend to be the person who always sees the glass half-empty, and anyone who tries to argue will get your usual dose of self-pitying drivel. Life, to you, is more like an obstacle, rather than an adventure.

You bring past baggage into the new events of your life to remind you that things are usually too good to be true and that life can be cruel at times.

When others around you get promotions, engaged or go on vacations, you become envious; instead of being happy for their achievements, you believe that it should have been yours. In your book, there’s not enough good to go around, and you’ll be one of the first people to spread that conviction.

You fear being happy because you trust that life will ultimately hurt you and as a result, people don’t seek you out for guidance or acquaintanceship. Your doom-and-gloom attitude has the ability to follow you wherever you go.

Life is like a balancing act. As humans, we naturally have both the inspirer and the discourager within us. Some days, we wake up as the inspirer, and by the end of the day, we become the discourager, or vice versa. To know which one resonates most with you, ask yourself which one you want to be.

When it comes to being a certain person on a daily basis, a steadfast effort is the first requirement.

We all want to be the best people we can be — better than the people who we were yesterday, at least. Choose to inspire and help others to do the same. Lessen the voice of the discourager, the naysayer and the believer in all things negative, for good.

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