It’s interesting to think about how many people we come to know throughout our lives. We develop friendships, fall in love, fall out of love, get our hearts broken, let go of and lose people, all while experiencing some sort of drastic, yet necessary change.
We change our phone numbers, addresses, appearance, behaviors, minds, feelings and, most importantly, ourselves in the process of it all. It’s this vicious, continuous and inevitable cycle of change.
As humans, uncertainty makes us the most uncomfortable; it's only natural. If things stay the same over time or do not change, it is easier for us to operate on autopilot.
For civilization to evolve, we have to constantly push and challenge ourselves; we have to experience constant change. This is not the easiest thing to subscribe to when moving on autopilot is so easy.
I used to hate the thought of change and the thought of someone who once knew you best no longer being a part of your life.
It's the thought of that one person, who you least expected to hurt you leaving you with only the remains of old memories of the past.
It lingers for a while until that very day when it becomes so cloudy that you can’t even remember the last time you saw him or her, talked to him or her about anything meaningful, or even about anything at all. Things would never be the same again, or at least the way they once were.
You can decide whether you want to regard it as a good thing or a bad thing.
I always used to overanalyze why these things happen. Why do some people remain a fixed part of your life forever while others merely exist only for a time period or weave their way in and out of your life throughout the years?
Maybe it is because the timing was wrong. Maybe it is because we grow and become different versions of ourselves over time and some people are unable to keep up. Maybe it is because we have different goals or want different things. Maybe it's because we got hurt.
I can come up with many other potential reasons, but there is really no point in doing so. You will find your why when you say goodbye to your familiarities and embrace change in your life.
We invest so much time and energy in finding reasons to hold on to people and things because of the security that it brings us. We are terrified to see what lay ahead once our familiarity disappears.
The answer I discovered after I learned to embrace the changes in my life was pretty simple: Change is necessary for us to learn how to be comfortable with the unknown and to help us gain strength and stability of the constant evolution in our lives. Only then will we become the best version of ourselves.
The minute you start embracing the change and stepping out of your comfort zone is the minute you'll finally realize that you will never be the same because change itself has made you change. We're back to the repetitive cycle once again.
What I came to finally realize throughout the years is that people we love may drift away and become complete strangers, but the human heart has a wonderful capacity to love.
Not everyone will stay in our lives forever, but I would like to think every person we love or care about — romantically or platonically — expands our experiences, opens up our horizons and our ability to love even more and gives us the necessary strength and endurance in all aspects of life.
When we think about change, we often associate it with pain. We tend to battle with these changes. Why? So we can win. So we can get rid of that pain that accompanies fear, anxiety and stress.
Think of pain as a person rather than a feeling. You are playing a game of tug-of-war with pain. Pain has his own team members: fear, anxiety and stress.
You have your family and close friends on your team. Team pain tugs the rope and your team pulls back. You cannot fall or you will lose. The harder team pain tugs, the harder your team pulls. So, what’s the best way to avoid falling or losing?
Really, think about that question. Some of you would say to pull harder, but the real answer is to let go of the rope.
Embrace the change. You can really change your reality by changing your mentality.
It might not make sense now, but I promise, eventually you will look back and be thankful that regardless of how twisted or long the rope was in your tug-of-war battle of life, it unraveled as it was meant to.