Alita Ong

You're Probably Not 'Embracing' Your 20s As Much As You'd Like To Think

Your 20s are an exhilarating ride. It's a time in our lives when we experience so many revolutionary things. In our 20s, we're constantly battling between the feeling of beginnings and endings. While we tend to embark on many of life's beginnings, we're simultaneously finding ourselves entrapped in various endings.

We begin college just as fast as we graduate. We start passionate relationships just as fast as we break up. We embark on a multitude of life-changing endeavors, such as our crazy social lives, traveling and wild experiences with friends that we soon find these experiences to be just another picture in our phones and a memory in our hearts.

The hardest part though about our 20s is balancing the transition between our youth and adulthood. And for the most part, we can't seem to figure out which we want more, and which we're willing to let go of. Letting go of things that are seemingly inescapable plays a vital role in our lives as we grow up.

Why is it that we find it so hard to let go of things in our 20s? We're constantly finding ourselves holding onto relationships that are inferior, people whom we barely call friends and a life we don't aspire to live.

Why is it that we're settling so young? What are we all waiting for? It seems ultimately contradicting to not embrace life in our 20s, knowing that we're the youngest we'll ever be in the moment, knowing that these are outwardly the best and most memorable years of our lives.

I guess that's where I always stood apart from my peers. I am never the one to waste a minute of time; I've always known time is really all I have. So, why are so many of us hung up on a regressive life when there's so much progress that can be made?

I constantly see people reliving past relationships year after year with the same person, finding fault after fault, justifying the same situation time and time again. Why are we allowing comfort to control clarity? There's no advancements in life if you're letting relationships wallow in the same despair for years.

I think we tend to forget that life's journey is not only to find someone, but to also find yourself. Self-exploration is essential. To ignore the idea of individuality so young is what will prevent our futures from being exactly what we want them to be.

Love is beautiful. After getting a few tastes of love myself, I can firmly say that it is unlike anything else in the world. But at the same time, letting go of the young love I was a part of was the best decision I could have ever made. Throughout my heartbreaks and solitude, I discovered things about myself that no man could have ever shown me.

I ultimately became an entirely better person through the embrace of my independence. We are interminably torn in our 20s between knowing exactly what we want, and not having a damn clue. This makes it beyond crucial that we take time dedicated to finding ourselves, without the help of anyone else. It wasn't until I had put my obsolete relationships to rest that I started focusing more on living my own life and discovering my own accomplishments, rather than accompanying the dreams of someone else.

Sometimes we become so entangled in relationships that we forget why we make the relationship important. Rather than being two halves, it's important to consider that a relationship is made up of two wholes. Realizing I was missing imperative pieces of myself to make up my whole, I decided to let go of my heartbreaks, to let go of trying to mend past relationships with faulty people and start focusing solely on myself.

Watching my own dreams come true was, fundamentally, a dream come true. After realistically viewing my own past relationships, as well as the relationships my friends were enduring, my perspective on what I wanted from my last few years in college and the beginning of my 20s changed for good.

I no longer strived for finding a guy to keep me company. I was more worried about keeping company to my dreams and working on achieving my best self. The journey of self-exploration is a rewarding path to embark on, but it is a path most people don't think they need to take.

It is not until you truly connect with yourself, internally, that you realize who and what you're destined to connect with, externally. We are only given so much youth to embrace before it's all in the past, so why settle for anything less than the best life we can live?