Victor Torres

3 Ways We Sabotage Our Journey Toward Adulthood

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When we hit a certain point in our late 20s we begin to think we're better at adulting than we were in our early 20s. While we most likely have better jobs and are more secure with who we are, there are many situations that remind us just how not adult we still are.

Whether it's the fact that we incessantly fail at maintaining a budget, or that we can't seem to find a steady relationship while we're bombarded with engagement and baby announcements from Facebook friends, there's always something reminding us.

We continue to try and be more adult every day, but we can't help but feel like we're not doing something right in one or more areas of our lives. We want to reach adulthood quick, so we place pressure on ourselves to adult quicker to be better. And this pressure, whether placed by our own minds or by the words of others, is actually detrimental to our well-being.

By placing all this pressure on ourselves we unconsciously stunt our growth. When we become overwhelmed by the various ways we're not adult enough we become wrapped up this idea that we're failing and then stop ourselves from moving forward. And so, we find ourselves getting stuck in this purgatory between crazy, irresponsible Millennial and real adult.

Below are just three ways in which we sabotage our ability to adult better.

1. When We Can't Stick To A Budget

It's a word we all hate: "budget." If you've ever even attempted to make a budget you know the struggle is real. Once we calculate our monthly incomes, subtract our monthly expenses (rent, utilities, life) and student loans, we're left with a very sad number.

We convince ourselves we can live off ramen because we did it in college. We can't. A week of eating like a broke college student makes us feel depressed, sad and like we've failed miserably at adulting.

Speaking of food, we try to be culinary geniuses in the kitchen and create homemade meals like Martha Stewart until we realize our job has us out of the house all week. When the hell do we have time to prepare legit food? We need things quick and that costs money. So, down goes our attempt at sticking to a budget.

2. When We Want To Upgrade Our Furniture

If you're anything like me, you're still living with your college furniture. It's so not cute. That wine stained futon is no longer acceptable for guests to sit on; it's time for an upgrade. The mattress you've had for a decade? It's time to change it up in order to feel like a real adult.

But of course, we run into problem #1, we're broke.

3. When We Want To Change Careers

Some of us know exactly what we want to do from a very young age, while others, like me, struggle to find our passion even in our 20s. We're the ones that changed our major more than once, and still graduated with a degree that doesn't fulfill our soul's calling.

So, right after college we struggle, hard. And then, sometime in our late 20s, we find ourselves. We get more comfortable with what we like and what we're passionate about and we attempt to pursue this new career path.

But stability is more important to us now than it was when we were in our early 20s and in college. Back then we were protected by the college bubble and we could change our minds without any serious repercussions. Now, taking a risk is a lot scarier. We have bills to pay, debt that's through the roof and in some instances other people to provide for.

In these instances it's easy to feel like a failure and like you're a terrible person for not having figured your shit out earlier. You begin questioning all your life decisions. Well, look, I'm here to remind you that it's all good.

As someone who knows the struggle first-hand, it gets better. Will you probably have to take a lower rank position when you change careers? Of course. But you will be able to work your way up. Just be patient, and trust that the universe won't let you down.

All this pressure we place on ourselves isn't good for us. Remember that there's absolutely no time frame to becoming an adult. Everyone develops and grows differently, we can't allow ourselves to compare our lives to those of others.

So, let's all collectively work on easing the pressure we place on ourselves to be adults and instead enjoy how to figure out the ins and outs of adulting.