It's Quality: I Don't Want A Lot Of Friends, I Just Want Deep Ones

My boyfriend lives with three guys. Two of those guys have girlfriends.

In a “New Girl” type of perfect world, we should all be best friends.

The girls and I should be pranking the boys, going out to dinner on Saturday nights and saying things like, "Oh, they're so annoying!"

We should be spending vacations together, going on triple dates and spending the week texting about them. I should be reveling in my newfound girlfriends.

Instead, I hardly see them. My boyfriend asks me why I don’t go to lunch with them, paint each other's nails and hang out more as friends, and I realized that it may sound mean girl, but I don’t want to be friends with them.

Why don’t I want to be friends with them? Because my definition of friendship has changed.

No longer is it about the need for company, but a need for growth. No longer is it about proximity but intellectual closeness.

No longer is it about who I'm around the most, but who excites me the most.

Time is valuable; instead of hanging around with people I have nothing in common with, nothing to talk about and share with, I’d rather just spend my time enjoying activities and conversations with the few people I do like.

Because just like how we change, our taste in friendships change.

I don’t need three new best friends. I don’t want three new friends.

I can’t handle three new friendships. Because friendships are very intimate relationships, and I’m not ready to have one with just anyone.

Friendships are about individuals with similar interests and distinct personalities gravitating toward each other, inspiring one another and teaching one another.

They are about uniquely passionate people captivating other passionate people. They are about interesting people teaching and learning from other interesting people.

It’s not three girls who happen to have sex in the same apartment trying to talk about “Real Housewives.”

Friendships are as random as meeting lovers, and I no longer define them by the proximity or the ease, but by the people who are going to actually teach me something.

1. I don’t want friends who small talk; I want friends who get to the big stuff.

2. I don’t want Facebook messages; I want deep conversations.

3. I don’t want friends to talk about others; I want friends who inspire others.

4. I don’t want friends who can only see the surface; I want friends with depth.

5. I don’t want friends who judge; I want friends who empower.

6. I don’t want friends who just answer; I want friends who ask their own questions.

7. I don’t want friends who just talk; I want friends who listen and absorb.

8. I don’t want friends who are just part of the masses; I want friends who are individuals.

9. I don’t want friends who say things just to say things; I want friends who have something to say.

10. I don’t want friends who preach; I want friends who teach.

11. I don’t want friends who copy; I want friends who invent.

12. I don’t want friends who only borrow; I want friends who are always lending.

13. I don’t want friends who take recommendations; I want friends who discover new places.

14. I don’t want friends to brunch with; I want friends to dine with.

15. I don’t want friends who share gossip; I want friends who share stories.

16. I don’t want friends who are cheeky; I want friends who speak in different tongues.

17. I don’t want friends to get drunk with; I want friends who want to drink life up.

18. I don’t want friends who have no opinions; I want friends who have their own opinions.

19. I don’t want friends who just watch reality TV; I want friends who question their reality.

20. I don't want friends who are realistic; I want friends who dream.

21. I don't want friends to chill with; I want friends to explore with.

22. I don't want friends who talk about themselves; I want friends who talk about the dead.

23. I don't want friends who see what's in front of them; I want friends who see what could be.

24. I don't want friends to cry to; I want friends to cry with.

25. I don't want friends who are good to my parents; I want friends who impress my parents.

26. I don't want friends who carry the weight of the world; I want friends who want to improve the world.

27. I don't want friends who have the world on their shoulders; I want friends who have the world in their pocket.

28. I don't want friends who talk about nonsense; I want friends who see beyond it.

29. I don't want friends who look for drama; I want friends who turn drama into art.

30. I don't want friends who stick by their word; I want friends who create their own words.

31. I don't want friends who whine; I want friends who appreciate good wine.

32. I don't want friends who think they know it all; I want friends who know they know nothing.