How To Deal With A Friend Who Talks Behind Your Back
If you thought the backstabbing days of girl drama were over as soon as you picked up your high school diploma, you're mistaken.
While nothing quite compares to some of the struggles of your teen years, there will always be friends who like to stir up drama to keep themselves entertained.
These friends will likely gain your trust and seem completely mature at first, but in reality, they aren't your friends at all.
Gossip isn't just for high school; it's unfortunately everywhere we look. And when it comes to your close group of girlfriends, spreading rumors and backstabbing is definitely not OK.
Unless you have permission, or are genuinely concerned about a friend, their secrets should stay between the two of you.
If you have a friend who talks behind your back, she isn't a genuine keeper. Here are a few things you can do to show this so-called "BFF" what she's doing is completely unacceptable.
1. Keep Your Interactions Short
As soon as you hear she's been talking behind your back, be careful.
Of course, take into consideration who told you she was talking about you, but if your source is credible, you should give yourself some distance.
There's always a chance of a misunderstanding, but don't give your fake friend the opportunity to use your own words against you.
2. Confront The Gossip Without Accusing Her
If anyone asks you about the gossip, stay calm.
Let them know someone is talking about you and you're not OK with it. You don't need to drop names or hints, but letting others know what's going on will put them on the lookout, too.
3. Stop Sharing Your Secrets
If your fake BFF is talking about you, it's clear she can't be trusted with your private info anymore.
Confide in your other friends if you need someone to talk to. Better yet, talk with friends who don't personally know the one who's talking about you.
This way, any classified information won't work its way back to the "friend" who can't keep her mouth shut.
4. Spend Some Time With Your Real Friends
Remind yourself and your backstabbing bud you don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
You're under no obligation to keep a fake friend in your life, so feel free to ignore anyone with that kind of immature behavior. You have real friends who respect your privacy and your happiness.
5. Give Her Space
While you're busy living it up with your real squad, she'll be obsessing over her unsuccessful attempt at starting drama.
Maybe she'll turn to someone else and leave you alone, but she'll definitely take notice if her backstabbing didn't get to you.
6. Drop A Casual, Tactful Comment
If she keeps up this kind of childish behavior, don't be afraid to say something and stand up for yourself.
Avoiding conflict in a situation like this is tricky, but it's still possible. You can address the fact that someone has been talking about you without speaking directly to your "friend."
Alternatively, you can make a comment directly to her without outwardly accusing her. She may get the hint and cut it out.
7. Address The Issue In Front Of Friends
If you really need to fix a dire situation, ask your friends to back you up. They'll help you confront your backstabbing BFF in the most direct, yet pleasant, way possible.
A small group or one-on-one with the antagonizing friend may be best. Your friends can be there as silent support, or as backup if you need them.