The Fourth of July is a celebration of independence that Americans have meshed with scandalously clad flag-wear, sapphire-tinted cocktails and an assortment of night-illuminating fireworks. Because really, why not?
While hot dogs are sure to make an appearance at each freedom-raging shindig, there are many different ways to frolic around with star-sprinkled sparklers. And the event you choose to take all your Instagram-worthy photos at says a lot about you. It's science, guys.
So, here are eight Fourth of July plans and what they say about you:
Camping Or A Trip To The Lake
You're a bohemian flower child with an affinity for adventurous antics. Princess pastimes are not on your agenda, but a recess from the hustle of everyday city life for a trip into nature beckons at your cubicle-sick heart. And camping on July 4 is the most American tribute you can imagine. S'more it up!
The Club Scene
You're 21 and new to celebrating the holiday sans a family vacation, which means you are going to go balls out bonkers. I predict things might get sloppy. Pack a mop, babe.
You're an artist, a student or both, which is probably why you work in the service industry in the first place. Restaurant and mall employees are the only unfortunate souls deprived of Independence Day.
But wait: Americans working on a day that celebrates freedom? Oh, the irony! Mark my words, though. This calculates to truckloads of garbage karma for your CEOs.
The Beach Or A Pool Party
You're the socialite of your circle, famed for your magnetic disposition. Of course you and your squad are going to hit up the chicest waterhole in full-fledged Independence Day bikinis to sip some Firework Mules. (These are Fourth of July-inspired Moscow mules. You haven't figured out the ingredient twist yet, but it's possibly just a firework umbrella.)
The Classic Backyard BBQ
Oh, how very hipster of you. You have that red lipstick and trendy bandana aesthetic planned out. You even get special points for star-shaped sunnies.
I mean, just imagine the possible hot suitors who may await you at this soiree. Obviously, you have to up your level of culinary prowess. You've googled Martha Stewart's favorite Fourth potluck items, and you're confident these partygoers are going to be next-level impressed.
You have zero fondness for crowds, specifically Jello shot-induced crowds that are repping "Star-Spangled Banner" swimwear. Celebrating to you means pampering yourself with a pedicure, followed by a generous glass of say, a Netflix marathon and some juicy celeb tabloids.
You hope to be asleep before the night is peppered with sparkling noise. You're so ahead of the game, babe.
For the economy, you're a blessing of epic proportions. Not a holiday sale goes by without you strapping on your Nike Darts, grabbing your fully charged smartphone and drinking a vitamin-dense smoothie to gear up for credit card-swiping marathon. You'll be “celebrating" all day.
Romantic Rooftop Fireworks
You utilize the holiday as an excuse for an intimate evening with your SO and an overpriced bottle of Champagne. You can't really garner excitement for the fireworks outside, but you purchased something saucy from Victoria's Secret that will definitely garner some fireworks inside. Now that's a celebration.
Whatever hijinks you get yourself into this Independence Day, make sure to dowse yourself in SPF, girl. That flaming ball in the sky is no knee-slapper, and I don't want a phone call Tuesday morning about how you need a friend to help you apply aloe vera to your back.
Happy Fourth of July!