I'd Rather Be #ForeverAlone Than Settle For These 6 Things

by Stephanie Barbarino

The fact that divorce has become such a common thing petrifies me.

No one dreams of his or her marriage falling apart.

But, I'm a firm believer the reason so many relationships are crashing and burning is because people are giving up their most important values, which results in them resenting their lovers.

I'm not saying relationships shouldn't be about compromise; they absolutely should.

But when compromise becomes sacrifice, it's inevitable that the road will get really dark and stormy.

Here are six relationship deal breakers I won't budge on:

1. Respect

I'm not talking about changing your relationship status on Facebook type of respect.

I mean real, old-fashioned, chivalrous respect.

I'm talking about the kind where you don't text me to tell me you're outside, but you come to my door.

It's the kind of respect where you treat me like the lady that I am, and not just a booty call at 2 am.

It's the kind of respect that when you meet my mother for the first time, you bring her flowers and shake my father's hand like a man.

If you don't have respect, you'll never have me.

2. Family Values

Family is the most important thing to me.

My family has raised me, supported me and has made me who I am today.

They've been there when I've succeeded, and they've been there when I've epically failed.

Even if you aren't close with your own family, you need to accept mine.

There will be no cutting off my parents when I move out, and there will be no holidays spent alone.

If my dad needs help in the yard, you better get your ass there.

If my mom ever needs help with anything at all, don't you even think about questioning me.

If you can't get with us, you're out.

3. Stability

I want to feel secure. If you don't make me feel secure, then I can't be with you.

Things happen, people lose jobs and people have bad days.

But, if you think buying a Mercedes while we're trying to save for a house, or spending $300 at the bar with your buddies while we're trying to start a family, are positive life decisions, then I won't be there when you get home.

I need to know you have our best interest in mind at all times.

That doesn't only mean fiscal matters; it means you can't go from being 100 percent in love with me one day to hating me the next.

It's all or nothing.

4. My Dreams

I can like the beach, and you can like skiing.

I might prefer a country farmhouse, and you might prefer a modern, sleek house.

I might like Italian food, and you might prefer Chinese.

That's all fine.

However, don't ever tell me things I like are stupid just because you don't agree.

If we see things differently, that could actually make our relationship more interesting and beautiful.

But if you shut down everything I say or want, we will go no further.

This will never be a dictatorship.

It's a two-way street, kid.

If you can't drive down it, then you're going to have to find a new route.

5. Sex

You could be the greatest guy in the world, but if you don't ignite my passion, it's never going to happen.

I'm not saying you have to be GQ-worthy, but I need to find you irresistible.

The magnificence of humanity is that everyone's idea of irresistible can be different.

People who give others a chance — even though they aren't attracted to them — end up settling.

Settling usually leads to unhappiness and cheating.

I'm not a cheater, but sex is important.

If I'm not feeling it, it can't happen.

The same goes if you aren't as into it as I am.

I don't want to stop all intimacy after we get serious or say, "I do."

I want to ravish my lover, and if you can't handle my vigorous sex drive, see ya.

6. Children

They will be the most important parts of my life.

They will be my pride and joy, and they will be the reason I breathe.

If you don't love kids, I will never love you.

There is nothing more attractive than a man who loves children and is a good father.

There is also nothing as important.

I need a provider, and I need a backbone.

Bottom line, I need a real man.

I'm not asking for a millionaire, but I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than give up and settle.