Fears To Overcome Before Getting Married To The Love Of Your Life
Many people who are married will tell you that something physically, mentally, and emotionally happens between you and your significant other after you both say "I do." It's important to not only go into marriage fully, but without any unaddressed mess that could be a problem later. Needless to say, there are some fears you need to overcome before getting married.
The love of your life should be privy to almost everything that hinders you, or could ultimately keep you from giving yourself to them completely. So, if you still fear those monsters under the bed, they should know about it. In all seriousness, though, we all have fears, and they help us learn about ourselves. A few major fears need to be discussed and worked through with your significant other before tying the knot.
1. The Fear Of Commitment
Not to be blunt, but if you're scared of fully committing to someone, you really need to be honest with yourself. It's one thing if you're afraid of committing because of the primitive connotations of marriage. In that case, that's a simple discussion to have with your partner, where you two talk about what your understanding of marriage is together.
2. The Fear Of Getting Hurt
I'm guilty of putting up a shield because I don't want to get hurt. At the end of the day, though, it's not about putting yourself in a bubble so that you won't get hurt, but delegating who's worth hurting for. Although no one should maliciously be hurting your feelings, you leave room for discussing when someone you love possibly did it without knowing, instead of blocking everyone out.
3. The Fear Of Not Being Enough
It's can be easy to second guess if you're good enough for someone you love tremendously. In your eyes, this person is damn near perfect, so you might start to nit pick things a little bit at times. Ultimately, you're together for a reason, and the way you see them is likely the way they see you. Imagine that.
4. The Fear Of Arguing
Arguing is inevitable in any relationship. I honestly don't know where my marriage would be if we didn't hash it out in a temporarily heated argument. It works out the kinks, and if anyone tells you that you shouldn't argue, they're ill-informed.
5. The Fear Of Change
If you plan on spending the rest of your life with someone, you have to accept that you both will endure some change. We are an evolving species. You have to also consider you won't always love each other the same -- not in a bad way, but if you're really on board for change, every day you will be falling in love with something new about each other.
6. The Fear Of Passing Time
We are so programmed to thinking we should be doing this or that at a certain age or stage in life. This applies a lot to pivotal points in anyone's life, like marriage, a career, and having kids. Don't let false pretenses of how your life and time should mingle make you fear going on your own course. We are all following our own road maps with different pit stops and detours.
7. The Fear Of Being Judged
If you're so busy worrying about what the next person is saying or thinking about you, you take away useful energy that could be used in your relationship. No one wants to hear about that gossipy crap, anyway. Look right in front of you. Do they love you for who you are? Then you're all set.
8. The Fear Of Involving Your Future In-Laws
OK, you don't have to be all buddy, buddy with your potential in-laws, but you also shouldn't be scared of them. Cordial, if anything, is the best route. There's no avoiding it.
Fear does nothing but keep us from our full potential. The person you want to spend your life with will not only address your fears with you, but they'll share a few of theirs as well. There's nothing to be afraid of, because they got you.