Not-So-BFF Afterall, As Told From A Former Best Friend


Dear Ex Bestie,

It was the first day in 6th grade math; I was alone and when I nervously decided to sit next to the unthreatening girl diligently sharpening her No. 2 pencils.

We spent more time together, eventually sharing books and glasses of Walmart moscato, moving each other in and out of our dorms and saving each other from creepers at the bar. I've been proud of you, angry with you, joyed by you, drunk with you and even jealous of you.

You've lent me your heels and brought me ice cream when my first boyfriend broke up with me. You even let me whine, cry and vent about it to you for way longer than I needed to, but you listened to it all.

Every part of our experience isn't always remembered, but it's timeless.

We are mere strangers now for whatever reason; our separation was never a conscious decision. Friends like us who can't thrive through hard times probably aren't deserving of one another, anyway.

We had our fun, and I'll always secretly keep up with you on Facebook and occasionally "like" your new posts to remind you I'm still around.

I wonder how much you've changed and if I'd recognize you today. You taught me something about friends coming and going and relationships not lasting forever. It is you and your contribution to my life that shaped how I stand and think today, whether I see you again or I don’t.

Through our middle school days sharing a bus seat home, and high school nights sneaking each other out of the house, you revealed some positive traits to me that will resonate forever.

Your charisma, humor and drive will forever stay with me. Your resilience will be mine every time I'm in need of being strong.

Because of you, I learned a way to lift someone up when he or she is down as you've done for me. I know a little more about drive and motivation when I remember how you’d wake up at 4 am for your fitness goals and didn't miss a day.

Though I can never tell your jokes or liven up a crowd quite like you, I can always smile to myself at the times you had me nearly peeing my pants from ridiculous conversation and good times. I even learned how to tip better because of your stories of being a waitress.

You, ex bestie, taught me a little something about how nothing lasts forever. I cherish people and things better because of us. I am more careful with my words and actions after we parted, hoping to not to lose a BFF again.

You made me a better friend. I learned about reciprocity, and how what you give is what you get. To have good friends, one must be a good friend. You also taught me how to recognize when a relationship becomes unhealthy and when it becomes crucial to let go.

This goes for losing anybody to anything, actually. The most healthy way to miss someone is probably to carry out what they taught you. Let them live on within you and do the things they would when you're not sure what to do at all.

Throughout our lives, so many people stroll in and out, and it's true that everyone we meet plays a role in our evolution. We were attracted into each other's lives at a point in time and needed one another at that given moment.

The significant ones can never be forgotten if we are able to carry on what we learned from them within ourselves.

Our friendship is bittersweet now, but nothing about it was a waste. I know those random bar nights, curing one another's hangovers and talks about what we could become in life are more important moments than I realized at the time.

We aren't best friends anymore, but I'm trying my best to emulate your ways. Therefore, the way you changed my life will never be in vain.


A Better Me Because Of You

When I miss you, I don't have to go far. I just have to look in my heart because that's where I'll find you. -- Unknown