How To Embrace Being A 20-Something Who's Never Had A Boyfriend

by Bria Barrows
Kayla Snell

I'm 21, single, and I have never dated or had a boyfriend.

Not once.

I haven't had any flings or even just dated anyone for a short while, just for the hell of it.

That world is completely foreign to me right now, and that's okay because I believe that the ideal relationship will come to me at the right time.

But I do admit: in today's society, it can be extremely difficult to feel okay with being alone and doing you without the validation or companionship of someone else. We see this everywhere: in articles, on social media, and of course from our friends and family. Even just writing this article has made me wonder whether society will brand me or "odd" or "sad."

Even just writing this article has made me wonder whether society will brand me or 'odd' or 'sad.'

But I know there are other young women just like me. We feel the weight of being single in a couple-obsessed world.

So, I'm writing for these women. I'm here to tell you that I understand you feel like an outsider even though you know you are everything and more as a single woman.

You may feel the pressure to conform and date even if you aren't ready, just because everyone else is doing it.

I understand that even though you know you are gorgeous, intelligent, talented, motivated, and inspiring, you feel as if you aren't enough because a man has yet to validate you.

I am writing this post for YOU. Those moments where you wonder if you are a 10 in someone's eyes and feel tired of being a strong woman in a demanding world, I get it. I get it all.

So how do we fix this feeling?

What you're going to do is just continue to live. That's it.

There is no magic solution that will permanently diminish the low moments. You just need to continue living and connect with who you are because eventually, you will find yourself and begin to slowly realize how powerful you really are.

Continue to build your confidence, just like I am, because it is ludicrous that you don't already feel important, beautiful and fulfilled.

Of course, we are human and it is normal to feel left out of the "dating circle" from time to time but eventually, it will get better.

Most of all, give yourself credit for all the things you have accomplished so far on your own: That new job you are juggling with school, your talents, hobbies, the will to push forward even when you are on the brink of an emotional breakdown. All of these should remind you how special and strong you are.

Focus on inspirational women who have had great careers and who have been role models. Do things for fun. Love yourself. By the time you are ready to date, you will be a much more interesting and amazing person, even more than you might have imagined.

I know this is all easier said than done and I am still grappling with this all but in life, we always come out better on the other side despite how the present may seem.

In life, we always come out better on the other side despite how the present may seem.

Society is a façade.

There is no "correct" age to start dating and you aren't an outcast because your reality differs from everyone else. You're unique and for now, your focus is just on continuing to allow your journey to unfold naturally day by day.

We aren't defined by our relationship status but by who we are as women.

That to me is badass enough, and right now, I'm owning it. You should too.