Apparently, the New York City subway is one of the most effective transit systems on earth.
According to Time Out New York, MTA provides the most lines, 24-hour service and transports more people than most other subway systems — and at one of the best price points, to boot.
Time Out doesn’t fail to mention New Yorkers' obvious love/hate relationship with the city’s most necessary form of public transit.
The subway, during peak hours, can really bring out the angry side of what I’m sure are otherwise-nice people.
If you’re a local, you know your inner Sasha Fierce comes out on the subway during rush hour. The crowds, the rush and the smells can do strange things to perfectly sane people. How many of these thoughts have you had?
Upon Entering The Station:
“The 6 is arriving! I am going to cut this 75-year-old woman with a cane to get through the turnstile before her; she doesn’t have to be at work, anyway!”
“Where the f*ck is my MetroCard?”
“Of course it’s expired, on a Monday, at 8:30 am. Let me just get in the card line behind 75 other people.”
“Are all of these people incapable of using the ticketing machine or does it really take that long to buy a MetroCard? Tourists! You're all tourists.”
“Okay, let’s try this again. Four minutes? The 6 isn’t coming for 4 minutes!? I need all five of my Candy Crush lives to last me until I get to work. How will this work? I guess I have to play 2048. Ugh, what is my life?”
Waiting On The Platform:
“Oh look! A rat!”
“It is so hot and/or cold in here. Where is the train?”
“I hope I am standing exactly where the doors stop because I totally got here before that guy, and he is not getting on the train before me.”
When The Train Arrives:
“What a bag of dicks. That guy totally just walked in front of me. Obviously, he is a horrible human being. Karma, assh*le! Karma! This will happen to you, hopefully tomorrow and hopefully by me."
“Get out of my way! I individually hate everyone here. I am not playing 2048 and waiting for another train. I am getting on.”
“Are you f*cking kidding me? I don't fit?! The doors keep opening and closing on me, and everyone here wants to kill me. Well, whatever, I want to kill all of you, too.”
On the Train
“Everyone crowding by the doors and not moving to the obviously empty space in the center of this car deserves to be slapped. Lemme show y’all who’s boss. I’m a boss. Get out of my way. I have mentally slapped all of you.”
“What is that smell? Ew. Omg. What the hell is that???”
“There is plenty of space on the subway bar; why do I feel like this lady is holding my hand?”
“That dude totally looks like he’s getting off at Grand Central. Gathering the briefcase, putting on the sunglasses. Yeah, you put that Kindle away, man. I am taking your seat. I am taking your seat.”
“YES! Score! Don’t look at me like that, lady — this was never going to be your seat. My shoes are like SO uncomfortable. And I am holding a bunch of bags. Also, I know you don’t know this, but I am hungover. I need this seat more than you do.”
“I wonder how many likes I've gotten on Instagram since I have been out of cell reception.”
“Why are your thighs touching my thighs? Personal space doesn’t exist when you’re standing on this thing, but I got a seat, so don’t touch me.”
Arriving At Your Stop
“Yes! I am getting off this bitch!”
“Move! What don’t you understand about 'excuse me'? Hello, people need to get off the train! Get the hell out of my way!”
And, when you finally exit the train and the station that houses it, the dust settles. You go back to being a semi-normal, approachable and possibly even nice person.
But, for however long you are at the mercy of the NYC subway system, you’re a beast. And, that’s okay. New York City can have that effect on people. Embrace it; it makes you a local.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It