If You Surround Yourself With Douchebags, You Will Come Out Smelling Like An Assh*le
I grabbed a few drinks last night with a couple of friends I haven’t seen in a while and landed on an interesting conversation. We came to the conclusion that none of us – there were three of us at the time – especially enjoys socializing.
I honestly don’t, and neither do my two friends. The conversation kept on going and we all admitted that we didn’t always mind socializing because we often enjoyed company.
For example, at that very moment, we were socializing, talking, laughing, having a good time and it didn’t look like anyone was miserable – not me anyway. Nonetheless, we all still agreed that, overall, we didn’t especially enjoy “socializing.”
The thing was that when we said “socializing,” we had a very specific sort of socializing in mind. With the three of us seated outside the bar, people watching, we didn’t consider that particular affair a social gathering.
Technically it was, albeit a small one, but with the three of us together, it simply felt like hanging out and not like the work that socializing usually feels like. It then occurred to me that the difference between simply kicking it and officially socializing is not the location, but the people.
We surround ourselves with different types of people. We then take those people and divide them into groups – we usually have less than a handful of people we consider to be our closest friends. We have those we consider our friends, then we have those we label as acquaintances.
All the other people we interact with are basically strangers we meet for a short blink of an eye. Our closest friends are at the center of our social circle and they are those we feel most comfortable around. They are also those we enjoy spending the most time with and hopefully those we think highly of.
The further you move from that circle of friends, the more uncomfortable interactions become. Uncomfortable may or may not be a strong word, but they surely do take more energy and focus when compared to the time spent with those whom we hold dearest.
Hanging out and grabbing a beer with some close friends didn’t feel as uncomfortable as most socializing experiences made us feel.
It’s not even so much the comfort level that bothered us, but the fact that, although they required more energy, we got less out of them. Socializing outside our inner circle made us feel like we were putting more in than we were taking out of it, and therefore we didn’t see much of a point.
I have some great people close to me, but not everyone is so lucky. Good friends are hard to come by and great ones even harder. However, building strong friendships does take time, as does finding people worthy of that level of trust.
What many people live to regret is having spent their lives surrounded by people who never deserved to be let into that inner circle. The truth is that most people you will meet in your life shouldn’t be let in – not all the way.
Most people simply don’t and won’t deserve it. Most people just don’t care about you as much as they need to in order to qualify.
Nevertheless, people all over the world constantly allow themselves to be surrounded by horrible people – by lots and lots of douchebags, male and female alike. Can I even call a girl a douchebag? Doesn’t really matter.
The point is that people allow douchebags into their lives and then hate their lives because of it. More often than not, they don’t even realize what they are doing by trusting such individuals.
The thing about friendship is that you won’t realize what true friendship is until you come by it. You’re likely to label friendship anything that seems remotely similar – just as people seem to do with love. In fact, real friendship is love, just not the extra fun kind.
Being surround by douchebags has a severe effect on a person. Just as you are what you eat, you are who you surround yourself with. If you surround yourself with douchebags then you’re going to reek of assh*le.
Their douchebaggery will rub off on you every time you join them in their douchebaggery.
Their ideas and thoughts will seep into your mind every time you have conversations and eventually you will dumb yourself down – or is it douchebag yourself up? Hanging out with the wrong people will turn you into the wrong person; the math is simple.
Who are the right people? For starters, not douchebags. You should cross all of them off your list immediately. No jerks. No assh*les. No cheats, criminals, liars, abusers, bullies, pompous pricks or idiots.
Avoid people who carry those traits you would never wish upon yourself – if you don’t respect the people they are and what they stand for, then stay away from them.
In such cases, having no friends is much better than having a hundred. Or even one for that matter. Having to socialize with douchebags and the lot is an incredibly unpleasant experience, until you become numb and it begins to change you.
Only allow those into your closest circle whom you admire. Socialize with them as much as you as possible and avoid the rest. Your conversations will only become deeper and more interesting with time.
Build friendships that are worth having and end those that aren’t.
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