Uh, does every day count?
College is like an exquisite bubble in which the lines between work and play are blurred, your biggest worry is will there be enough vodka at the pregame? You feel so academically stimulated that you can actually justify the rest of your stupid behaviors.
Our parents said it and yet we never really understood it until we graduated: College really is the most unique and adventurous four years of our lives. From studying abroad to not having Friday class, there is no other time in our lives when we will ever be that unencumbered.
And, especially with September right around the corner, this makes us very, very sad.
Pretty much every time we go backwards through our Facebook photos or see a bunch of kids with backpacks hanging around, we miss being in college. Here are the 17 specific times you feel terribly sad about graduating.
1. When “Whatever You Like” by T.I. comes on the radio
If this were 2008, you’d be dancing on a riser at the tailgate, enjoying cheap booze and thinking about how happy you are.
But alas it’s 2014, T.I. has been in and out of jail and the closest you’ll come to ever being that carefree again is throwing up from chugging wine at your parents’ summer rental in the Hamptons.
2. When everyone has vacation plans for spring break except you
Spring break? What’s that? Remember when time-off was actually built into your schedule? Going to work the Tuesday after Memorial Day and realizing that you no longer have a summer vacation really makes you appreciate when you were 18 and saw natural sunlight for an extended period of time.
3. When you still use your old student ID for discounts
The sole remaining concrete connection you have to being a college student (aside from the passing Facebook chat booty call).
4. When you realize it’s no longer cool to be the most blackout person at the bar
Now you’re forced to remember that ugly dude you grinded on for four hours. The last time you blacked out was from turning your lights off before bed at 10 pm.
5. When you come across an SAT word and remember how smart you used to be
You actually knew what this equation meant and could accurately explain it to your roommate. College classes stimulated your brain and even though you knew useless facts about random history, you still felt more knowledgeable than 87 percent of the population.
There really is no smarter place than academia. Congratulations, you’ll never be this intelligent again.
6. When you see girls (and guys!) doing the walk of shame down Third Avenue the morning after Halloween
At least there’s comfort in knowing that people still celebrate after college.
7. When you think about how hard it is to meet someone in your current city
And, more importantly, trust that when you bring them back to your place that they aren’t total creeps. Finding a romantic partner in college was way less of a challenge than in the post-graduation dating scene.
The fact that you both loved your school and the Quad was all the connection you needed.
8. When all you want to do is wear your college sweats to work
Donning your college gear always makes you a teensy bit nostalgic, but what’s even more depressing is that you have infinitely fewer opportunities to wear those casual clothes again.
Do you like sleeping? Great, because you just inherited a whole new pajama wardrobe.
9. When you watch the big game at an alumni bar instead of the student section
No matter how much you drink, it’ll never compare to the feeling of being in the stadium, surrounded by your like-minded peers, collectively cheering on your favorite team.
Now, you feel grateful if you spot a former senior on the street.
10. When you have the urge to go out on a Tuesday night but no one is around
Huh? Tequila Tuesdays aren’t a "thing" outside of college towns? Blasphemy! Tuesday night used to be your jam, you think to yourself as you cry into your lonely cup of alcohol and tears.
11. When you have to take a plane to visit your college friends
Remember when you lived in a big, relatively inexpensive house with all your besties? You threw parties and woke one another up with gossip and joints and sat around laughing in between classes.
And were right there for one another during tough moments. Good times.
12. When you buy a sandwich for $12 and think This would be half the price in my college town
Ugh, now we’re sad all over again.
13. When it’s a silly holiday and you have to go to work instead of celebrate
Um, sorry boss. We can’t come in today because it’s Cinco de Mayo and traditionally that means we drink.
14. When you go out on a Friday and are dying on Saturday
How did we ever make it to the library the morning after? How were we able to function so well but still so hungover?
I have vague memories of participating in a Relay for Life charity event the day after a "Splash Bash" party and it still amazes me. That might be my biggest accomplishment to date…
15. When you receive emails from the alumni association with news about welcome week
This is not unlike cruel and unusual punishment to alumni everywhere. Now these kids are just showing off. Keep your happiness and fun times to yourself, please.
16. When you crave that very specific food only available in your college town
Maybe it’s Jimmy John’s. Maybe, if you’re a fellow Wolverine, it’s Zingerman’s Tarb's Tenacious Tenure. Or maybe it’s simply ramen noodles and cookies from your school’s cafeteria.
Whatever food item you’re dreaming about, it’s convinced you (on more than one occasion) that you should quit your job and open an outpost of the restaurant in your current city.
17. When you have to make real life decisions
Take us back to the days when the toughest life choice we had to make was: Should we enroll in Sorcery 201 or Witchcraft 302? Both. Definitely both. Do it up while you still can.
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