You may have chosen to read this article because you're looking for some sort of rationalization for the terrible behavior you've been exhibiting as of late.
Well, have no fear you have come to the right place because I'm going to make you (as well as myself) feel a whole lot better about your indulgent choices.
"A bender can be good for you?!" ... you may be asking yourself. Well, yes, yes it can be. But how? Don't worry we'll get to that in a few moments.
You may think a bender is nothing but a blackhole filled with awful decisions, regrets and things you wish you never said.
But, actually, a bender can help you put your life in the perspective you so desperately need. I know -- crazy.
So let's get that perspective going...
1. It makes you never want to have another one again
There's nothing like a good bender to convince yourself you never want to drink again.
Sure, maybe this may not be the best way to come to this realization, but at least you are realizing it. And that's what counts.
2. It's cathartic
We don't always know how to release our tension, which is why so many people take it to an entirely different level when it comes to drinking.
Honestly... once you take one shot, it's all downhill from there.
3. It brings you so far down, you're forced to go back up
There really is nowhere to go but up when you hit rock bottom. And there's no way to realize you need to get your sh*t together than after a solid bender.
If you don't think the following week of people's lives post-bender is comprised of organizing every aspect of themselves, you're dead wrong.
4. It reaffirms you're not that old
Nothing screams immature youth quite like irresponsible binge drinking.
Sure, maybe you swore these things off after you graduated from college, but as everyone knows, it's all too easy to relapse.
5. It's a bonding experience with your friends
Is there anything more unifying than endless rounds of fireball shots? No, really... please tell me so I can offer that up to my friends instead.
6. It gives you an incredible excuse to do absolutely nothing the next day
Who doesn't love a good excuse to do abso-f*cking-lutely nothing?! Being hungover may suck, but it also serves as a get-out-of-jail-free card for any and all commitments the following day.
7. It brings you back to your glory days
Nothing lets you relive your favorite college days quite like an all-day, all-night drinking extravaganza.
8. It teaches you the value of a dollar
You know what the best part of drinking is? Spending money you don't have on more alcohol you don't need to be consuming.
Checking your account the next day is enough to convince even the heaviest of spenders to start budgeting.
9. It's probably as social as you're ever going to get
Once the booze starts flowing, so does the conversation. Sure, you may be word vomiting all over the place, but at least it's better than not being social at all!
10. It's f*cking fun
You may get hungover and you may get bloated, but regardless, you are having the time of your life!
11. Because you'll probably confess all of your sins
Getting things off your chest is healthy, isn't it? Well, everyone knows the drunker you get, the more you are willing to own up to some sh*t you've kept hidden.
12. It reaffirms your relationships with certain people and also creates new ones
How many times have you uttered the words, "I love you!!!!" while intoxicated? How many times did you say this to a close friend?
And how many times have you said it to a stranger? Yup, exactly.
13. The bartender will definitely remember your name
The benefit of a bartender remembering your name is the next time your drunk self walks through the door, he or she will serve you on the house (...or kick you out immediately).
14. You'll probably end up eating everything... and a little food is always good for the soul
The second best part about getting drunk is your diet plan goes out the window.
You don't care how many spin classes you attended this week, the only thing on your mind is the closest pizza shop.
15. It teaches you that you have no limits
Limits are what confine people, and you don't need that type of negativity in your life.
16. You know when you rally, you still have fight left in you
If you had any thought in your mind you were lame or getting old, a good binge will completely change your way of thinking.
17. It's a great self-esteem boost
You never think you're better looking than when you're hammered. Ever wonder why so many people take selfies when they're drunk? I think you just found your answer...