Why The Real World Sh*ts On College


After graduation, we all dreaded entering the real world, fearing for our sanity as we fled to our cubicles, wondering how the f*ck we were ever going to survive in the post-grad world. As the months passed by though, we came to the sudden realization that the real world actually sh*ts on college. Of course, college has its perks and was an epic time (that you remember), the real world offers vastly different opportunities that one could only have dreamed of.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t go to a small university that lacked a party scene; it was, in fact, quite the opposite. I had an amazing college experience, quite like anyone else and dreaded entering the real world. It’s a rude awakening when you realize that there’s no snooze button on life when you’re hungover and that blunt you used to have for breakfast becomes replaced with a nutritious meal.

You have four years to get this sh*t out of your system before you must mature (somewhat) and embark on your journey into the real world. Don’t fret -- look at the 10 reasons why the fun doesn’t have to stop once you reach the real world.

1. Once you’re done with work, you’re typically done

For the most part, when the clock strikes 5, your work for the day is done, at least for the first few years of your post-grad life. The second you step out of your office, you can clear your head of anything work related, as homework is now a sweet notion of the past. You have all this free time to do whatever it is that you please, chances are it’s taking a nap because you’re so tired, but don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.


2. You aren’t limited to 3-5 local dive campus bars

The world is your oyster! At least the city you are currently living in is. No longer are you only limited to the same old campus bars that are filled with the same faces. You can go to a different bar without repeating locations for months on end in a city and see faces you never have before.

3. There’s real food; no more sh*tty, disgusting meal plans

SUSHI!!!! No? Maybe that was just my school then, but everyone knows that real food doesn’t actually exist on college campus. Your meal plan can only get you so far in the health department as dining halls typically choose to serve whatever they can in mass quantities. Your options aren’t just a hotdog or a cheeseburger or a soda or a milkshake, you actually have real alternatives now!

4. You don’t waste your weekends studying

Guess where you will be spending your weekends in the real world? NOT at the library, that’s for sure. You have the freedom to do whatever you want and however you want. Take this time to do the errands you missed out on during the week or just use them to relax. The point is that you don’t have a rigorous course load to devote your Saturday and Sunday afternoons to.

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5. You’re making money

Congratulations, you have an actual income! Finally, you can afford to do the things you couldn’t in college. There is a certain freedom attached to the fact that you don’t need to consult your parents before making a large purchase because you earned that money. It’s important not to let this newfound “fortune” spiral out of control or you will put yourself in debt.

6. You can smoke weed in your room and not have to blow it through a paper towel roll or smoke in your car in the parking lot

Let freedom ring! No more RAs and no more campus police, you can smoke weed as you please in your own apartment. Rooftops and balconies galore, no one actually cares what you’re doing in your own apartment if you’re minding your own business. The best part is, the weed can come to you via delivery.

7. You have your own room

Many people in college never had the experience of having their own bedroom. The post grad world offers you a different amount of privacy. You can come and go as you please and not have to be bothered by petty banter just to avoid the awkward silence. Had a rough day? Head to your room and chill out and leave the outside world to the outside.

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8. You aren’t plagued by your ex’s moves

You know when you meet someone you’ve never met before and then all of a sudden you see them every step that they take? Well the same goes for your ex on a college campus. It’s pretty difficult to avoid this person when you are limited to the same three bars and even more difficult if they are your same age. There’s a good chance that when you graduate your ex will be living in another city or even if they are in the same city as you, it’s big enough to avoid them.

9. A date doesn’t consist of a movie and the dining hall

Real dates exist in the real world, who would’ve thought! I don’t even think dates existed in college as hard as you may have tried. Swiping a dinner on your meal plan is not equivalent of a night out on the town and a movie is just plain, old boring. You have endless options in the real world, as there are a plethora of activities for you to take a date on.

10. Peace FOMO

Do I go out tonight or do I study for this huge test tomorrow? That is a question you will never have to ask yourself again. By the time you graduate college, you should be over FOMO, if not, you need to grow up. You are a working part of society now! No one is going to make you feel guilty about skipping out on a night out because you want to catch up on your sleep. Isn’t that a nice break from the peer pressure of college?