I’ve always found the entire business of beauty to be one of the most astronomically unfair, intensely brutal aspects of the world at large.
I (like most girls of the Western world) grew up in an environment where there was an ever-spinning, undying emphasis on all things pertaining to beauty.
I was brought up with such a laser-pointed focus on the art of "pretty" that by the time I was 8 years old, I wholeheartedly believed physical beauty had the power to trump everything — an astounding intellect, razor-sharp wit, unsurpassed brainpower, fabulous personal style, mind-blowing artistic ability and the graces of social merit.
Through the lens of my wide-set adolescent eyes, the world simply appeared so much easier for pretty people.
It seemed as if being blessed with societally physical perfection (which in the mid-90s, was the under-eye-bruised, hollow-cheeked, hip-less waif) gave you the comic book superpower to attain anything you so deeply desired: an esteemed bank account, a slew of enthusiastic friends, a glamorous job, a sea of romantic admirers and a crazy ability to enrapture every person on the planet to the point where they would eagerly hang on to every word departing from your petal pink, perfect lips.
As far as my warped 13-year-old self felt, a magnetic, engaging personality had nothing on pretty. Oh how terribly wrong I was.
Sometime at the peak of the roller coaster ride of 22, I started to see things in a different way.
Through keen observation, I became increasingly aware that while pretty is nice, it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Now before I get attacked and tossed out the window of my six-story walk-up, grant me the opportunity to disclaim: I'm not “pretty-shaming" (Is that even a thing?).
I’m not here to raucously declare that all pretty people are self-absorbed, brainless little villains with black hearts cut from coal.
I know a plethora of stunningly beautiful creatures who are even more stunningly beautiful on the inside.
I'm talking about pretty people who do ugly things. Such unattractive, uncouth things that they’re stripped of their physical beauty and transform into repulsive beings right in front our faces.
It's that eye-opening experience when you begin to realize no level of gorgeousness is excused from engaging in the following ugly behaviors:
Being Devoid of Personality
Have you ever seen people who have been told they were stunningly sensational visual creatures from such a young, tender age – they seem almost devoid of a personality?
It’s as if the perpetual-praising and special treatment they received throughout their childhoods put a screeching halt to their personal growth.
I distinctly remember the moment when I became disillusioned with the illusion of it all. I was in the gory trenches of my very first Los Angeles "pretty people" party and was exerting a very real effort into partaking in stimulating conversation with vacant girl after vacant boy.
It took every fiber of my being to repress my inner screams for help, for I had a visceral urge to shout "GET A F*CKING PERSONALITY PLEASE" at the top of my 22-year-old lungs before sacrificing myself to the notorious wild Hollywood coyotes.
Being born pretty doesn't mean you received a top-secret lobotomy at birth. Looks alone might temporarily satisfy (much like an artificial sweetener) — but will never be enough to sustain the appetite of others in the long term.
Soon enough, people are going to grow bored of your beauty – unable to stave off your basic blandness any longer while growing hungry for the real beauties of the world, the ones who sport the raw sugar of genuinely fierce personalities and thought-provoking opinions.
Spitting Hatred At Other Pretty People
It’s grossly transparent and extraordinarily off-putting when a pretty person immediately detests another pretty person with no rhyme or reason.
I've watched, in jaw-dropping amazement, the knee-jerk reaction of a pretty person entering another pretty person's orbit.
Their eyes glow; you can almost hear the hateful hisses permeating from their tic-tac breath.
They’re so rattled by the idea they might not be holding court as the prettiest being in the room anymore, and the trembling anxiety of perhaps not receiving massive heaps of attention becomes all too much to handle!
They lose control and revert to an animalistic, vicious attack mode, their inner thoughts diminishing to that of a simple mantra: “MUST DESTROY PRETTY PERSON.”
Being threatened by a person’s beauty (or talents for that matter) is an ugly, ugly characteristic. True beauty loves true beauty – and finds it everywhere, in everything and everyone.
"Forgetting" Their Credit Card
Oh, it's a Saturday night, and you find yourself spending the evening clinking glasses with your most physically beautiful friend.
You watch in an amazed awe as she recklessly orders the most expensive bottle of champagne, five "market-priced" appetizers (taking only a mere nibble on each) and carelessly "buys" a round of top-shelf tequila shots for the entire contents of the bar, staff included.
And oops – she forgot her credit card. How is it only pretty people “forget” their credit cards? In a world where everyone works HARD for his or her money – "paying for pretty" get's real old, real fast.
Shielding Their Own Brain Power
Pretty and Smart are two very different things — and contrary to popular belief, one CAN be blessed with both beauty and brains.
Due to the pressing, shackling stereotypes of modern society, a culture in which multi-dimensional people are rarely represented, certain pretty people have been made to feel as if they must hide their brainpower with the dense wool blanket of ditz.
I find it soul-crushing to witness a pretty girl shielding her awesome intellect out of fear it will outshine her physical beauty.
From the time we're kids, we're taught the damaging lesson that the blue-eyed blonde is a vacant tart with a low-cut top, and the brainiac is but a meek mouse with thick-framed glasses.
There is nothing more out-of-this-world sexy than having something profound to say. Owning your intellect and crushing the shackles of media stereotypes is the hottest thing in the world.
Treating Others Like Sh*t
Being born beautiful doesn't give you the right to treat people like sh*t. I once knew an insanely attractive female specimen, whom I embarked on a dinner outing with.
She turned toothless, vile and ugly the very moment I witnessed her speak to our restaurant server. She was convinced the ever-golden rule simply didn't apply to her because she bore the gift of beauty.
This might be the ugliest thing I've ever seen a pretty person do. The only redeeming part of this beastly trait is behaving this way scrapes beauty off a face faster than the speed of light.
There is a great justice to this; the second they adorn their head with an invisible entitled crown, the ugliness from within sweeps across the surface of their skin, and we see them for who they truly are.
In a world so oversaturated with pretty (you can practically purchase pretty at the neighborhood deli), pretty is boring.
Personality is interesting and sexy. Spend more time honing your character than your looks – because inner beauty is what gives you that coveted, desired, achingly gorgeous, everlasting GLOW.