Lifestyle

Too Old To Toke: How Old Is Too Old To Still Be Smoking Weed?

by Lauren Martin

When it comes to alcohol and pills, society has a tendency to overlook these vices in adult behavior, accepting them as coping mechanisms and socially acceptable ways to relax and release.

It's okay if a mother has a drink at noon and pops a few pills after work or a long PTA meeting. However, if adults like to roll a joint after a long day of work, they're potheads or junkies who have yet to grow out of their immature habits from college.

To previous generations, smoking in your early thirties or while taking care of children was either seen as irresponsible and completely unheard of.

Locating weed in your fifties proved almost impossible and trying to find out if your neighbors also smoked was damn near impossible. Kids grew up with absolutely no idea that their parents were toking up in the living room.

However, times they are a-changin' and our generation will be the first to carry Mary Jane along on the path to retirement.

There's less of a stigma when you're 45 and looking for weed than there once was. It's as much of an acceptable vice as a glass of wine, and definitely less harmful than prescription medication.

Because weed is about relaxing just as much as a little alcohol and one or two cigarettes are. But not only is it a way to unwind, it's a way to open your mind and unleash your thoughts. It's a way to see things differently and appreciate what you may have never noticed.

It's a lifestyle choice in the same way that yoga or mediation is to some. It's a livelihood that doesn't harm anyone or detract from experiencing daily life. It's a habit that should only grow in strength as you gracefully age.

21- Time to drink or smoke, most likely both.

23- You buy eighths and Adderall, and afford it by borrowing other people's textbooks.

25– You’ve bought and broke your first bong and still can’t afford rent.

27- You rent a beach house with your friends and bring the weed.

29- You sneak a joint into your friend’s rehearsal dinner.

31- You start to get really into painting.

33- You get a 401K and only buy in half ounces.

35- You invest in a vaporizer that can be hidden under your new Pottery Barn coffee table.

37- You light a joint in bed after the kids have fallen asleep.

39- You attend a legalization petition party in your neighborhood and smoke on the roof.

42- You get a box at the Red Hot Chili Peppers concert and hot box it.

44 – You go out to dinner at The Ritz and smoke a small dubbie before.

49 – You buy some edibles from your friend’s kid who just opened a store.

52 – You drive your kids to college and share a spliff on the way up.

55 – You invite old friends over for a dinner party and multiple blunts.

58 – You smoke with your oldest kid for the first time.

61 – You get your kids a vaporizer and a kitchen set for their weddings.

65 – You start your own garden, which includes growing your own weed plant.

69 – You get really into baking edibles and become famous for your cheesecake.

72- You move to a retirement home and get weed from the kid who cleans the rec rooms.

75 – You get prescribed a medicinal card for your "aches and pains" and get the kid to drive you to the closest dispensary.

79 – You make copies of your card for some of your friends in the home and they smoke you up.

82- You get really into painting again.

85 – You watch weed become legal across all 50 states and celebrate with one final bong hit.

89 – You are told to stick only to g-pens.

91- You can only eat weed applesauce.

93 – You’re probably dead and smoking on some cloud.

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