No New Friends: What Its Like To Stay BFFs With Your Childhood Friend
Not all of us have best friends; some of us have more than one and some just prefer to surround themselves with a few good friends.
But, all of us have childhood friends. You may not see them often or even at all anymore, but somewhere on this earth, someone has known sixth grade you and decided to befriend you anyway.
It has to mean something, right?
Those of us who are still very close to their childhood friends know that, for better or worse, being best friends with your childhood friend is a unique kind of relationship.
Here are four reasons why:
1. No new friends
The good: You share what seems like the memories of a lifetime.
Everything reminds you of an adventure you lived together, and you can’t imagine a time when you two would have nothing to say to each other.
I mean, you always have the memories to talk about. You may look like two old grannies reminiscing about the past, but you couldn’t care less.
The bad: When you have been so close to that sole person your whole life, letting someone else in it can get tricky.
People can be intimidated by how strong your bond is, and you might push them away without even noticing it. It may feel like the two of you are out of reach for new friendships.
2. You know each other like no one else and it’s both a blessing and a curse
The good: You know each other inside out. You know when something is wrong and she knows what makes you uncomfortable.
You know what drives her crazy, she knows how to make you laugh.
You know when she lies, and she knows when you are upset.
You can’t cheat with her and you don't want to. You are each other’s only person it feels completely safe to not hide anything from, and you’re grateful for that.
The bad: You knew her at 6 years old, when all of her sweaters had horses on them, and she knew you when all you cared about was looking like the characters on "Sabrina the Teenage Witch."
You knew her at 12, when she was cutting out pictures of Leo in magazines, and she knew you when you were worried your braces might alter your performance in the kissing department.
You knew her at 17, when she was trying so hard to convince her parents that it wasn’t a hangover, but just bad Chinese food, and she knew you when you couldn’t properly roll a cigarette.
Basically, you both have weapons of mutual destruction.
3. It feels like family
The good: When you know someone for that long, it feels like he or she has always been part of your life.
You literally can’t remember a time when you didn’t know each other, and that’s what family feels like.
The bad: It feels like family, so you two fight like family, which means you fight ugly.
The truth is, we’re always harsher with our family because we know that at the end of the day, no matter what, they will still be there. It’s like they can’t help but love us.
4. Defining your relationship becomes a struggle
The good: You are so much for each other. You are a friend, a childhood friend and a best friend.
You don’t need to label your relationship; you could just introduce each other as whatever you want and it would be just as true.
The bad: It is sometimes difficult for people to understand the extent of your relationship.
Is your childhood friend a friend? Or is your childhood friend just someone you used to know? Or is your childhood friend a close friend? Is he or she your best friend?
Yes it can get messy. It feels like there is an actual difference between those designations, and while I’m not into labeling everything, don’t you just hate to introduce your childhood friend as such?
It feels like belittling the relationship.
Usually people will say something like, “Oh! It’s cute you’re still in touch with your childhood friend!”
Well, if by “still in touch” you mean talking daily and not being able to imagine going a week or two without seeing each other’s faces, then yes we’re definitely “still in touch!"
There is something special about the people you grow up with. You might love them, have lost them or find them again when you expect it least.
Life is not easy and you can get lost during it, but if you stick up with your childhood friend through life, you can never lose yourself because you will always have that special someone by your side.
He or she will remind you of who you have been, who you are and who you are going to be.