What Your Drink Says About You

We have mentioned, countless times, that body language is as much a form of communication as saying exactly what you think. You may very well be spewing out your latest million dollar net-worth to the girl at the bar, but if you you it while fidgeting and pulling the label off your beer then you will only seem like a child.

So it is important to pay attention to what you do as much as what you say. So here is what the drink you are holding will say about you:

Martini: If you’re a guy, then you’re trying to impress a girl – and it’s probably working. If you’re a girl drinking a dirty martini, you’re a hot mess. A rule of thumb: the dirtier, the messier, the hotter.

Vodka on the Rocks: Too self-conscious to actually order a martini.

White Russian: Obsessed with The Big Lebowski, and probably The Daily Show. Or, you just like to drink dessert.

Bud Light: If you're a guy, you're easy going, laid back and feel at home at a sports bar. If you’re a girl, you know how to hang with the guys.

Stella Artois: You just order “Stella” cause it’s familiar and think its cool.

Lillet/Campari/Aperol: You’re cute and possibly like to throw around words like “mixology".

Vodka Cranberry: When in doubt, you stick to what you drank in college.

White Wine: You’re definitely a woman. You’re possibly also a little uptight.

Prosecco: You’re often a little uptight, but tonight you’re looking to party.

Whiskey, neat: You’re hot. Regardless of gender.

Jager: Secretly wishing you were hanging out with your buddies.

Vodka Gimlet: You’re a huge dork, but you hope sort of in a cool way?

Appletini: You’ve left the kids with a sitter and you’re ready to have fun!

Pimm’s Cup: You’re an Anglophile.

Old-Fashioned: Mad Men is your favorite show; you want to be Don Draper. If you're a girl, you probably want to have sex with Don Draper.

Margarita, on the rocks: You’ve decided to have a good time tonight.

Margarita, frozen: You’re in Cabo.

PBR: You’re drinking quickly on your way to a non-profit fundraiser, followed by a poetry reading in a former industrial warehouse or a live band performance in Williamsburg.

Tequila Shots: You’re either getting laid, or just getting through it.

Long Island Iced Tea: You have a drinking problem.

A beer, while at a Cocktail Bar: Overprotective of your manhood, or you're unadventurous.

A cocktail, while at a dive bar: Insufferable.

Elite.