For National Pet Day, I'm writing about how my dog, Marshall, is the most incredible, hilarious little creature in my life.
I'm forever grateful for him; he's the only person who knows what I really do when I'm home alone, and he will never say anything.
Here are 16 other reasons why dogs are truly man's most awesome and hilarious bro:
1. When your dog farts and gets scared because he's unsure what the sound was.
Then he smells his butt and gives you a weird look saying, "It must have been you. That sound and smell can't possibly be related."
2. When you come home (even if you were only outside for two minutes) and your dog goes berserk.
Who doesn't want to be greeted like that?
3. When you're stressed out and fall onto the couch, your dog runs over and plops down on your lap.
There isn't anything more calming than that. It's all good now.
4. When you hate everybody, but your dog looks up at you with those eyes and reminds you it's all going to be okay.
How can I possibly be mad? I don't have it so bad anyway.
5. When your dog sh*ts three times during your walk, but you only have two bags.
You then have to hold the third turd outside of one of the bags and carry it back home to get more bags. Yeah, that wasn't fun. But looking back, it was pretty funny.
6. When your dog can't reach his toy and stares at you.
Then he looks at his toy, then at you and then at his toy again because when you finally get his toy for him and see his excitement, it's hard not to be excited yourself.
7. When he keeps dropping his ball by your feet while you're trying to cook.
I mean, I know he doesn't understand what chores and responsibility are, but it's still funny. Dogs train us.
8. When your dog runs into your room for comfort after a loud burst of thunder.
Yeah, it's nice to feel loved and needed. Thunder buddies for life!
9. When I'm at ease watching him play gently with my little cousins.
I know he will be a sweet boy when we start a family.
10. When your dog goes pee in your bed right before you go to sleep.
You then have to get out of bed, clean the comforter and try to sleep in miniature fleece blankets for the rest of the night. (Okay, maybe not this one.)
11. After the initial groggy anger, it's kind of nice when your dog wakes you up with kisses at 6 am.
Even if it is on a Saturday.
12. When you are going for a walk and he looks back with that tongue-out grin.
It might not really be a smile, but it might as well be because you know he is the happiest dog in the world.
13. When you have a random kitchen dance party and your dog starts jumping with you.
"I GUESS WE'RE DANCING NOW!"
14.When your pooch is barking at a squirrel out the window.
You're grateful to have a fluffy, 23-pound guard dog making your home a fortress.
15. When he's adorably sleeping on my wife.
He always makes sure to have his little butt snuggled up against mine.
16. When your dog gives you the inspiration to write a sweet blog post that will inevitably go viral, get you a million hits and make you rich and famous.
Just kidding. Maybe.