Why A Chipotle Boo-rrito Is A Better Valentine Than Your Significant Other

by Brianna McCabe

It's the holy mecca: the most visited, tourist-attracted place in the world.

Even just pulling up in the parking lot and batting your eyelashes at the sight of the building’s beauty alone is enough to make your heart palpitate out of your chest.

The doors swing open, welcoming you into what is essentially heaven on earth. You look above and see the letters “C-H-I-P-O-T-L-E” perched above you, and you know you have found your true home.

Any state, any town, any time you see a Chipotle restaurant, people are lined up as if the burritos store the beautiful truth of the world inside their toasted, flour shells.

Perhaps, the reason Socrates was so incredibly wise was because he found this secret Tex-Mex fast food chain, took one bite, and suddenly, every truth in the world was revealed with the taste of guacamole dancing on his tongue. Yes, it's that good.

The smiles on people’s faces are indescribable, as they seem to be painted on as the smell of brown rice simmering creeps up nostrils.

This incredibly elevating phenomenon of knowing you are about to indulge in what is, quite possibly, the best burrito chain in the world, is pure bliss.

People are lining up at Chipotle's doors because, essentially, it fills a void in not only our stomachs, but also in our lives.

You see, Chipotle will never let you down. That big, succulent burrito, oozing with cheese and hot sauce knows you better than your very own significant other. And, it knows how to treat you right – even on Valentine’s Day.

As a burrito enthusiast, I assure you, a Chipotle burrito is like the perfect boyfriend: It's warm, with a little bit of spice, and it will always leave you satisfied.

No one will romance you quite like the savory flavor of a chicken/barbacoa/carnitas/steak/sofritas burrito.

You see, unlike your boyfriend or girlfriend, a Chipotle burrito will always spice things up (pun intended).

With every single bite, you are in for a different surprise. Will you get sour cream, cheese, rice and a bit of salsa? Or, will you get a big chunk of guac with a dash of pinto beans?

You will never know, and that’s what keeps it so fun and exciting. You are always on your toes while eating a burrito.

Well, maybe not always, because, usually, I’m sitting down on one of those metal, industrial-looking chairs sprawled across the restaurant, but you get the point.

And, sometimes, my burrito will buy me a little gift, and accompany itself with a big bag of chips covered with the most crystalized, salty scrumptiousness.

It’s as if Swarovski gems have been crushed and sprinkled along crunchy, oily tortilla goodness.

Talk about being spontaneous and thoughtful!

Not only does your burrito surprise you with little gifts, but also, through the Chipotle app, your burrito will send you little notifications of how much it appreciates you, filling the void of impatiently waiting for your significant other to text you.

Sometimes, a little message will appear on my cell phone, inviting me back for some more lovin’. It’s not overbearing, jealous or pushy.

It’s not playing games; the Chipotle burrito truly adores you for you and understands your worth, which, in this case, is roughly $7.25.

Additionally, the burrito is everything you could ever dream of. In a sense, you are your very own Dr. Frankenstein when you stroll on up to the glass window separating you from your true happiness.

You choose your rice (“Double scoop of brown, please!”); you decide if you want half-chicken, half-steak, or if you’re more of a sofrito lover. You dictate the amount of sour cream you want (“Give me a dollop the size of a softball!”).

Your ideal soul mate is being crafted before your very eyes by the people bearing the black shirts with “Chipotle” spread across their chests. I’m convinced their hands have been touched by a higher being.

The utter euphoria of approaching the counter and smelling the delicious fixings is enough to make my stomach and heart want to do cartwheels and flips and hit the bachata. Then, the rest of my organs join in, and it truly becomes a fiesta.

A Chipotle burrito understands you. A Chipotle burrito is there for you. A Chipotle burrito is the ideal Valentine, 365 days a year.

A successful healthy relationship is built on a strong foundation of deep friendship between two people who respect each other, enjoy each other’s company, trust each other and who also are willing to work at the relationship through an abundance of open and respectful communication.

My Chipotle burrito encompasses all of those qualities. My burrito is the Romeo to my Juliet.

So, ditch the corny flowers, chuck the chocolates into the garbage (because you’re going to need to save the calories to get that extra scoop of sour cream), and instead, go partake in a candle-lit dinner with your boo-rrito.