The Real Difference Between Embracing Solitude And Feeling Lonely
What do you think about spending your birthday (or any holiday for that matter) by yourself? Does that necessarily mean you are alone?
One of my favorite life rituals has been to spend New Years Eve all by myself (even if I am in a relationship) as a time of meditation and reflection.
It feels weird to stay away from the parties and the excitement. It feels even weirder when the countdown begins, but interestingly enough, when the pans stop clanging and the fireworks fade away, it seems like just another day.
These days, I just have to get away from everything more often. It doesn't matter if it's a couple of hours at the park during the day, taking in a ball game by myself or spending a weekend out of town.
Loneliness is the feeling that there's something missing in life; it's a feeling of pain, depression, incompleteness or absence. Being alone is completeness of the joy of being. Nobody is needed, and you feel you are enough.
As you walk on the street, you notice there's a tremendous difference between being alone and being lonely. I feel a little less alone in crowds, but never less lonely.
It's different for all of us.
Being alone necessarily doesn't mean you are lonely, and vice versa. Being alone is enjoying personal space and spending time with yourself without having anyone around. Being alone gives you some extra time to think about what you want in life, what your hardships are, what you expect from someone else and more.
It's about doing things by yourself, for yourself. It makes you a better human being in life.
Being lonely is a feeling of a gaping hole of memories, insomnia and severe depression due to a heartbreak, somebody's death, betrayal and more. You constantly feel a need to have someone who looks after you in the same way you see couples around.
Loneliness makes you wonder, "Why always me? Why don't have a stroke luck?" Loneliness is that tingly feeling you get after hearing a song that brings back memories of someone you once loved, or a picture you find on social media of someone who used to be your best friend.
Loneliness is the 3 am thoughts that scare the hell out of you.
Drew Barrymore once said:
There's a tremendous difference between alone and lonely. You could be lonely in a group of people. I like being alone. I like eating by myself. I go home at night and just watch a movie or hang out with my dog. I have to exert myself and really say, 'Oh God, I've got to see my friends' cause I'm too content being by myself.
But there are times when aloneness and loneliness walk hand in hand.
You are strolling in a garden, and you suddenly spot a couple cuddling. For a minute, there's a pain in the chest, and you wonder, "Why can't I be that girl or guy?"
A dull feeling gathers all your attention of being someone else, just to get that love. All humans crave love. Mark my words, all humans do.
There's a drive in all of us to catch hold of the one who makes us feel complete. But in this drive, we forget no one can make us happy but ourselves.
Being alone is the most enchanting experiences of life, where in we get to know about our own flaws and specialities. In a way, it helps us become better individuals.
We all need to spend some time wondering what kind of lonely we think we are. Are we really lonely in life, or do we just like to spend time with ourselves rather than other people?