Why do you hold grudges? We’ve all had at least one person in our lives -- though usually multiple persons -- who has screwed us in the not-so-fun way. If you haven’t yet had the displeasure, believe me when I tell you, you will. It’s inevitable.
Human beings are selfish and egocentric. Even when they seem to care about the well-being of others, first and foremost, they care about their own. Many times, the well-being of another will fall short of their wants and desires, even if the tradeoff is completely one-sided.
People aren’t always logical. They aren’t always fair or thoughtful. They aren’t always nice or pleasant. And they most definitely care more about themselves and what they want, than about others and their wants.
Not screwing people over can take quite a bit of self-control, especially when screwing particular people over is very rewarding. When most people find themselves on the receiving end of bad faith, they get emotionally defensive and mentally defensive and hold that grudge until the day they die. But this is just silly. Here’s why:
1. Negative Energy Will Wear You Down Over Time
Your thoughts are, in a quite literal sense, bursts of energy. Your thoughts affect you on a profound level because they make up your being; they define you as a person.
The more negative, hateful thoughts you have, the more likely it is that you begin to view other things through a negative glass. Negative thoughts make us feel bad. They make us unhappy.
Because of this, we inevitably begin to see the rest of our reality as slightly bleaker. In the long run, this has a detrimental effect on your psyche and on your life.
2. Holding Grudges Gives Those Individuals A Constant Presence
People who have acted against you in a hateful or disrespectful manner should not have any part of your life. Yet, by keeping them in your thoughts – even if those thoughts take the form of grudges – you keep them alive and a part of your life.
The only way to move on with your life is to literally forget about them. This will take time, but the first step is letting go of that grudge you’re holding.
3. You Shouldn’t Waste Your Mental Energy
Your mind is an awful thing to waste, and what is your mind if not your thoughts? There is this silly rumor going around that multitasking is efficient.
The truth is, not only is it not efficient, it’s also not possible. You can’t focus on more than one thing or thought at a time – you literally can’t. We weren’t built with due processors; we only have one. Do you honestly not have better things to ponder over than that douchebag you’re hating on?
4. Life Is Lived Better With Less Hatred
Life isn’t easy. It isn’t always pleasant. It isn’t always fair. But that’s just the way things are and there isn’t much you can do to change that – other than to do your part to minimize the amount of hatred that gets passed around.
There is no reason to hate when you can eliminate hatred from your life and fill your entire being with as much happiness as you possibly can. There will come a time when it will save your life.
5. Those You Hold Grudges Against Aren’t Important
Some people simply won’t fit into the life you want for yourself – there isn’t an abundant amount of room in your life. Be selective of those you allow into your life and mind and block the rest out. Those who are in your circle, you should love and respect. The rest you can just forget about.
6. There Are Literally No Benefits To Holding A Grudge
Everything you do should be done with a purpose, a goal. It should have some sort of beneficial result. Holding a grudge doesn’t. It literally does no good, whatsoever.
It only makes your life more miserable. If you’re unhappy, you need to understand that, more likely than not, you are the source of your unhappiness.
There is always a way to see things in a better light. However, you must first start with letting go of all the dark.
7. Most People Are And Always Will Be Dumb
Again, this is not something you can change, only something you can accept as a fact of life. Life is lived more happily when you stop trying to change people and when you just deal with their nonsense accordingly.
It’s hard to do -- I have trouble with it myself from time-to-time. But the fact is, if you learn to deal with people the proper way, you can let go of a lot of anger and frustration, allowing your life to blossom into the ideal you wish it to be. Don’t hold grudges.
Don’t hate. Don’t get angry. If you're dealing with idiots, then either deal with them accordingly, or don’t interact with them at all.