The other night, while having some Pinot Noir with my favorite girlfriends, we realized something: Every girl in her mid-20s has that one girl she just hates, and it always stems from a situation with a guy.
This girl might be the girl who showed up just as you and your ex broke up, or soon after you started "talking" to your next guy.
She is, in your mind, "that girl." The mere fact of her existence is almost unbearable.
Even worse, for someone so hated, she gets a lot of attention and obsession from your end.
The thing is, to an outsider, this girl is usually no one special. She looks fairly normal, non-threatening and might even be kind of cool.
But, to you, the person who hates her, she is quite possibly the spawn of Satan on a mission to ruin your happiness while she kicks ass at life and Instagrams it every step of the way.
However she came across your radar doesn't even matter because once she got there, you zoned in on her ass.
You cannot forget about her or stop criticizing her every move. You just freaking hate the chick.
Something within your womanly instincts cannot drop the bad feeling this girl gives you. The worst part is, you cannot let the hate go and forget about her.
When the time comes and a "that girl" happens to bombard your formerly peaceful life, we are pretty sure you'll engage in any and all of the following activities:
1. You social-media stalk the sh*t out of her.
You now know her favorite workouts, her pet's name, her drink at Starbucks and everywhere she's been in the past couple years.
Even if you find a post where you think for a second she might be pretty cool, you immediately have to dig deeper to find more ammo to hate her.
Most importantly, though, you look at her page in hopes of finding some clue that your instincts were right and she is somehow involved with your ex or current dude.
You can't not look, even for one day because you are positive if you skip one day of looking, that'll be the day evidence finally appears.
This brings us to point number two.
2. Your social-media stalkage leads you to come up with wild and crazy scenarios.
You let your mind spiral out of control, coming up with storylines between the two of them that probably never happened.
Just because she posted at his favorite bar 21 hours ago and he posted there 18 hours ago does not necessarily mean they went there to introduce their friends to each other.
3. You enlist your army.
You cannot possibly hold all this anxiety to yourself, so obviously, you get your girlfriends on team hate.
You bitch, show pictures, ask for reassurance and, basically, hope your friends tear into this girl more than you do, proving you are not crazy, but rather, absolutely justified in your assumptions of her.
This reassurance helps soothe your wounds of the, "What if they are really something?" thought. Because even if they are, your friends have convinced you you're way better than she is on every level. Bless them.
4. You try and dig for info from unusual sources.
Remember that friend of his who was always so nice to you? Welp, odds are you'll text him to "check in" and see how he's been.
Do you care how he's been? Hell no! You just hope that opening any window of communication will lead to talking about your dude.
Beyond this, you try to see if you know anyone who kind of knows her who could give you dirt.
Hell, you've even considered staging a run-in at his favorite bar to see if you can confirm your fears firsthand and see them together.
It’s also quite possible you may or may not have driven out of your way to scope out his house.
Are all of the above absolutely bat-sh*t crazy? Well, yes! But, do we do them? Absolutely.
Any girl who claims to never have obsessed over a "that girl" in her life is lying.
So, how does this vicious obsession finally end? We eventually figure out, sometimes months later, that trolling social media, grilling friends of friends and worrying about "that girl" never serves us a purpose or benefit.
We never find concrete info; no one posts, "I had sex with so and so last night." (At least, let's hope not!)
The only thing to cure our anxiety and obsession is to address the true root of the problem: our insecurity about the guy.
At the end of the day, this sucker should just be let go. If you find yourself in this situation and cannot get over it, it's for a reason: He doesn't deserve your trust or your heart.
Maybe, in a way, "that girl" in your life is doing you a favor.
Ehhh... we can still hate on her, though.