I have not written a truly bitchy rant article in a while. I’m not sure what has gotten into me; maybe I started accepting people who are different than me for a while? Who knows? All I am certain of is that throughout the past few days I’ve felt more like my old self, and I’m pleased to say- the bitch is back.
Lately I’ve been incredibly bothered by something: females who don’t realize what year it is. Ladies, it’s 2012. There are certain things that happen when one year passes to the next, for example the times changing and trends changing. So take fifteen minutes out of your oh so busy schedules and educate yourself on what’s appropriate for this year, rather than focusing on your favorite trends from six years ago.
Stop Scrunching Your Hair
I’m woman enough to admit when I’ve made poor choices in my past. When I was younger (like middle school) I would force the natural wave in my hair with bottles upon bottles of gel to scrunch my hair into a disgusting mess of crunchy “curls”. It makes me feel somewhat better that it was a “trend” (?) of some sorts, but I’m still embarrassed.
You know who should be embarrassed though? The girls who still do this today. Shockingly, a lot of girls seem to still be rocking that 7th grade look and I’m all like… why? This is the most unattractive hair trend next to the poof. Thankfully, I can happily admit that I have never tried to pull off the poof, but I do know of some girls who try and rock the poof everyday. For all of you gel-scrunchers and poofers out there, no. Stop.
Stop Not Looking In The Mirror Before You Go Out
BUT REALLY THOUGH, STOP. Stop getting dressed before looking at yourself and realizing that you don’t match, your clothes don’t fit and you look like you just got off of a four-day bender of some sort. Another thing: I know “Do Your Makeup Without A Mirror” TAG’s are really popular amongst YouTube Beauty Gurus, but those are purely for entertainment value.
Is being oblivious to the fact that you are wearing a perfectly outlined mask, of an un-matching tone, until you notice the staring, really worth not using the mirror? You should never be doing your makeup without a mirror and if you are using a mirror and your makeup applying skills are truly that awful then please… seek help. There are people who are willing to teach you.
Stop Wearing Uggs
It really fucking bothers me when girls who aren’t sixteen years old wear Uggs for anything other than taking out the trash. Yes, Uggs were a popular shoe brand back in high school (again guilty, and again, embarrassed). Girls would wear Uggs with jeans, skirts (why though?) sweats, anything. They were even considered somewhat of an icon of status. Those girls who had fake Uggs couldn’t hang. I’m honestly laughing at myself just thinking about it.
I’m also laughing at the fact that girls my age still wear Uggs. Some still wear the same pair of Uggs they owned back in high school, and the only thing I have to say to any of you is, ew. Bye.
Dressing Like It’s 2005
I swear to you, yesterday while walking around my college campus I saw a girl in a black t-shirt, jean skirt and white patent leather wannabe gladiator sandals walking around talking on the phone like nothing was wrong.
Did she not realize that she was dressed like how I dressed on my worst day back in 8th grade? Has she opened a magazine recently? Watched television at all? Opened her eyes and looked around while walking in public?
I guess not, since she still thinks that an ensemble like this is appropriate. Not only is it embarrassing, ugly and stupid to dress that way, this girl was a college student. It’s time to start doing big girl things and stop dressing like a cast member of Laguna Beach (no disrespect, the LB will forever hold a special place in my heart).
The only way I would excuse an outfit of that nature is if the girl just got out of a seven-year prison stint and has no idea what is going on in modern day society.
Ally | Elite.
Photo Credit: Getty Images