Confessions Of An Optimist: I'm Happy, And I'm Not Ashamed To Say It

by Candice Jalili

I am so f*cking SICK of pretending to be miserable.

Please forgive me for beginning an article about happiness with a complaint. But I need you to see what inspired this.

I do not want to complain about how hopeless and doomed my love life is... because it's not! I’m perfectly happy with it.

I feel no need to vent about how much I hate my job, because I love my job. And I am not about to sit here and cry about the world ending tomorrow. I'm far too busy enjoying today.

The problem is that being happy is not cool anymore. People don't want to sit around and talk about how happy they are. That’s annoying (cue complaints about the annoyingly happy person).

So I used to pretend. I used to pretend to be miserable and cynical and hopeless, because I knew that was what people wanted me to be. But even pretending to be sad and hopeless has a way of making you feel sad and hopeless.

So I have officially decided I am done with that. I’m happy, and I’m not afraid who knows it.

You take heartbreak as a loss of hope; I take it as a lesson learned.

Every painful encounter with someone who wasn’t quite right brings us one step closer to meeting someone who is.

You see unemployment as failure; to me, it's a vacation.

Um… I’m sorry, PAID time off while I f*ck around until I find a job that is probably going to be a way better fit for me than the last one!? SIGN ME UP.

You think Tinder means dating is dead; I see a world of possibilities.

You go on Tinder. You're attracted to someone. You establish a mutual connection and start talking. It’s just like meeting someone when you're out... except for the fact that you have WAY more options, AND you know he likes you back (because he swiped right, too).

Sounds like a dream to me.

You criticize your flaws; I embrace mine.

I love my weird nose and my flat chest. They make me who I am. They give me character.

You complain about being glued to your phone; I’m happy to keep in touch.

Sure, I’m on my phone during this date. But I NEED to tell my best friend of 12 years that you uncannily resemble my sophomore-year crush.

We haven’t lived in the same state for five years now, and I still don’t think we’ve gone a day without talking. That’s f*cking awesome.

You see a plane crash; I see thousands of safe landings.

I hear about one death and think about the billions of people who managed to stay alive today. You give me a cloud, and I WILL find a silver lining.

You’re worried about what you’re doing with your life; I’m excited about what I’m doing today.

I’m not stressing about the bigger picture. What I’m doing right now is good for right now. If that changes, I’ll plan accordingly. But right now, life is good.

You stress about finding "The One"; I’m busy finding myself.

I’m focusing on falling in love with myself. If someone else decides to fall in love with me along the way, so be it.

You get embarrassed; I laugh harder.

The most embarrassing situations tend to be the most hilarious ones.

You obsess over text ratios; I don’t notice them.

I rapid-fire texted you 47 times in a row because I had 47 hilarious things to say. You are welcome.

You delete a photo if you don’t get 11 likes; I keep it.

I put that picture up because I liked it. I really could not care less if you do, too.

You "cleanse"; I treat myself.

If I want solid food, I am going to treat myself to some solid food, damn it.

You hate your ex; I’m still friends with mine.

Just because I don’t love him in that way anymore doesn’t mean I have to stop loving him completely.

You get sad when he doesn’t call you the next day; I say it’s his loss.

I am the best thing that could have ever happened to this nimrod, and if he’s too idiotic to realize that, then good riddance.

You get upset if you don’t meet a guy; I chalk it up to a good girls' night.

My night doesn’t revolve around meeting a guy. If I meet someone, hey, that’s great. If not, who cares?! I still had a great night out with my friends.

You’re afraid the world is ending tomorrow; I see an excuse to make the most of the present.

They say you’re supposed to live every day like it's your last. Let’s take whatever disaster you predict as motivation to do just that.