Why 'Coming Out' Is Just Unnecessary Labeling For The LGBTQ+ Community

by Jamie Scanlon

I don’t identify as gay, straight, queer, bi, trans or gender queer. I identify as being human, and I hope that one day people will stop breaking their necks trying to identify themselves under a label.

I’ve always said that I don’t live in a world of labels, and I stick by that to this day. I don’t really have a coming out story, unless you count the time when I was talking to my little brother at 3 am about how "I like guys," and my mum came out of her room to say, “Go to bed, Jamie. I’m your mother, I’ve known for your entire life and I don’t care.”

I’ve always been me, and I've never seen any reason why someone should be entitled to have an issue with that. Sexuality, in my opinion, is such a small component of someone's personality, and there are much larger things to focus on in life.

I just wish that people would stop beating themselves up while trying to be accepted by others, but I don't ignorantly believe it's easy for everyone.

I don’t like the feeling of being put in a box, and I have never put other people into a box in order to understand them or comprehend their behavior or actions. It's just small-minded and offensive, and the sooner we stop doing it, the more peaceful the world will be and the less pain people will live with.

I’d love to know who decided that there needed to be labels and the psychology behind this. In my opinion, it has done nothing but confuse people even more and take them further and further away from who they truly are.

It also encourages them to identify under labels created by society. It’s so important to have a sense of who you are and not feel the need to label it with a word. I mean, what do words and labels really mean, anyway?

Sure, in most situations, we communicate through labeling, but there is so much beauty in communicating just through feeling and understanding another without having to categorize things. Call me a "dreamer" (here we go again with the labeling) for thinking the way I do, but that’s just what I am.

"Mum and Dad, I have to tell you something. I’m straight." How often does this conversation occur?

I’d almost put money on the fact that it has never occurred. And it shouldn't have to occur. No conversation that justifies primal human urges or behaviors in regard to sexuality should have to occur.

It's widely accepted that we’ve come a long way with our attitudes toward homosexuality, but have we? We have the highest of understandings of human behaviors in a range of disciplines, but have we lost the meaning during this transition in our society?

Not long ago, someone said to me that we as a society are actually devolving. I had to really think on that for a long time, but I could see the point.

Humans have been roaming the Earth for thousands of years in many capacities, and cultures have been around in their purist forms for longer than I can comprehend. Yet after thousands of years, we still seem to have these battles and arguments that could so easily be resolved.

Where does this perceived pressure or expectation to explain to our parents that we are gay come from? We really need to address this issue at the core because as we know, we often lose too many invaluable lives in the process where people are trying to find their feet in the world.

For the most part, I feel that we have made leaps and bounds in this area, but we still have a long way to go.

While I have never had an adverse reaction while talking about my sexuality with friends and family, I still have the perception that I could get a negative reaction that could ultimately lead to harm one day. I should not have to be afraid of this.

If straight people don't have to deal with these lingering fears or go through the process of "coming out," then neither should people who don't fit society's mold.

The days of boy meets girl are still alive and well, but they are by no means the way of the world we live in. How about "human meets human," or "spirit meets spirit?"

The genetic makeup or sexual orientation of the individuals concerned plays no role in the love for which two humans can hold for each other. These labels also do not define the things they can set out to achieve during their time together while on this planet. So, let's drop the labels and just live our lives.