While most people look forward to spring for the sundresses, iced coffees and open-toe sandals, there are some people, like me, freaking out because OH MY GOD IT'S ALMOST WEDDING SEASON!
*let's have a moment of silence for my wallet from now until October*
Once you hit a certain age, the months from June through October are basically an on-going nightmare of dress fittings, calming your friend down at 3 am because she's realizing none of her DIY crafts look the same as Pinterest and screaming into a pillow because you had to say no to late-night appetizers since she picked a dress style that literally doesn't look good on anyone.
Being a bridesmaid is great... after the wedding. Like, when you look at her professional photos and think about how well starving yourself paid off.
It's wonderful to be a part of your friend's special day and celebrate in their love. But dealing with the frantic moms and bridezillas and doing everything but practically selling a kidney to afford it all comes with a hefty price tag.
So if you're like me, and watching all your friends get hitched while you're single AF (just kidding, I'm engaged, and feel really bad about the hell I'm about to put my girls through), here are some key ways to cope during your friend's happiest day of her life.
1. Say "no" to being a bridesmaid.
... if you know you're not going to be up for it.
If you aren't a fan of big weddings and late nights spent gluing crafts together, or wearing matching "girl squad" T-shirts, then do the bride a favor and say "no."
There is literally nothing worse than having someone in your bridal party who doesn't want to do the work. If you can't commit, say "no." Both parties are better off, trust me.
2. Respect her mom.
Listen ladies, we all know the mother of the bride can be a total nightmare. She's been dreaming of this day way longer than the bride herself, and she wants her daughter to have that princess moment she said she wanted when she was 5.
Your bride is going to complain about her mom. And, as one of her bridesmaids, you are definitely not going to agree with the insane amount of pressure her mom will put on her with her dress, hair, makeup, guest book, seating arrangement and timeframe when everyone should breathe collectively.
Support your friend and remind her that her mom just wants the best for her. Remind her to take a calm, yet firm stand to get what she wants. Just don't tell her mom off, or to calm down or anything.
3. Be honest with her about your financial status.
I would love to do everything my friends wants me to do with them, and for them. And if I were a wealthy woman, I'd do it all in a heartbeat.
The truth, though, is she can find that exact dream bridesmaid dress a little cheaper at a different store. She can swap things out. She can make it where it's financially affordable for you.
However, if something comes up you can't afford, tell the bride, and tell the bridesmaids in enough advance notice that you all can work something out.
Life happens and things come up that we need to pay for, but it's worse if you choose not to participate and let it fall on someone else's shoulders.
4. Vent about her other bridesmaids to YOUR friends, not the bride.
You will never be in a wedding where you like or even get along with everyone. There will always be a sister who hates everyone else, a cousin who can't afford anything, a college friend who says they'll be there but doesn't show up.
It's every bridal party. Your bride doesn't need to know these things. This isn't high school, and telling the bride what kind of whack job her maid of honor is causes more stress than she needs. You're all adults, work it out.
5. Tell the other bridesmaids to step it up...respectfully.
As I said, there will always be SOMEONE who makes the wedding party difficult, and it's nonsense to not talk to that person about it.
Why continue complaining to EVERYONE else when someone doesn't answer their texts? Sit with them alone and explain they need to answer their texts and find out when they're available.
If that person doesn't answer their texts because they work until 5 pm, then start communicating with them after 5 pm when they're available. Then, at that point, you're adjusting to their schedule, and they've officially lost their excuse not to participate in planning with you guys.
6. Keep yourself in check.
Yes, being in a wedding is a lot of work and there will be more times you hate life than enjoy it. But it's an honor to be asked to be a crucial part of someone's day. If you've been married, remember you were probably doing the same thing your friend is now.
And if you haven't been married, oh just remember how sweet revenge can really be.